I’ve decided I’m now going to wear Chanel everyday.
Without going broke.
Remember this Facebook post from last week?
Actually, it was $52. I’m good at fashion, bad at math.
I haven’t painted my own nails in over a year…yet after reading Rachel Wilkerson’s rave review of Chanel Nail Vernis, I thought I might give it the old college try.
Yes, spending $26 on a single bottle of nail polish could be considered a bit excessive.
But then I considered this: I’ve been getting a manicure every 2-3 weeks and a pedicure once a month. That’s roughly $75 a month for nail care, which adds up to $900 annually.
So yes, in 2011 I spent nearly $1,000.
Looking at it that way kind of lessened the blow of $23 nail polish.
Also? The nail salon isn’t always relaxing for me. I spend the entire time terrified of being cut by the tools that, in my whacked out mind, will infect me with HIV. I realize that sounds incredibly insensitive (not to mention illogical), but in 2007 I truly convinced myself I had contracted AIDS from a nail salon for a good three months. Only when the woman at the free clinic told me to go see a psychiatrist and never to come back for the rapid HIV test did I finally snap out of it.
I believe her exact words were, “Oh you’re sick. Just not with AIDS.”
Needless to say, the nail salon tends to bring out some of my “cray cray”. Plus, I’m getting sick of the ladies who work there trying to force pregnancy upon me. I do not want a baby, I just want my nails done without contracting a blood-borne illness, thank you.
What I’m trying to say is, the Chanel polish will saving my bank account and my sanity.
When these puppies arrived in the mail earlier a few days ago, I might have done a few celebratory somersaults. Jolie claims they looked more like someone having a seizure, but I was wearing super tight skinny jeans and did the best I could.
The fact that my jeans didn’t rip is truly a miracle. I swear, the ghost of Coco Chanel must have been watching over me, or something.
The two colors I selected were “Distraction” (I wanted something bright for Spring) and “Particuliere” (I have a total addiction to neutral grey shades).
The colors are, in a word, dreamy. Much better in person and just the right shade. Even the peachy pink “Distraction” is neutral enough to coordinate with just about any color.
Suddenly, this super expensive nail polish thing is starting to make sense.
I was itching to paint my nails with the pink color.
But there was a slight problem. I still had a month-old Gelac manicure on my digits.
31 days after my manicure
I’ve got to hand it to Da at Foxy Nails. While she may be the only person in the world who wants me to get pregnant more than my mother, she gives a pretty durable manicure.
My nails had been painted with Gelac–a lightweight gel polish that combines the long-lasting effects of a gel nail with the easy application of a regular varnish. It doesn’t chip, and stays shiny for up to one month.The process requires a UV lamp for “curing”, and takes around 10 minutes to remove.
Unless you try to remove it yourself.
Then it will take upwards of one hour and twenty minutes.
And your nails will look like this:
Better stick to my day job.
It was the best I could do. And quite frankly, after 80 minutes of battling the nail polish that’s almost as stubborn as I am, I was pretty much over it.
Although I have to say…the removal process wasn’t totally monotonous.
Gang signs. That’s right…I’m starting a manicure gang.
The initiation is spending $900 a year on getting your nails done.
After another half hour of chasing Jolie around the condo with my foil fingers, it was finally time to dress my hands in Chanel Les Vernis.
Let me preface this by explaining that I am terrible at painting my nails. The last time I tried to DIY my manicure (in bright red) it looked as if I had attempted to butcher a rabid squirrel with my bare hands.
I am not exaggerating.
Which is why I was shocked when my Chanel manicure turned out like this:
I dont’ know if it’s the high-end polish, the fancy brush, or the fact that I tried unusually hard not to screw things up…but they actually look kind of…nice. And, if the reviews are accurate, they won’t chip.
(Insert seizure-looking sommersaults here.)
I realize the texture is a little rough and bumpy. This is due to the fact that I didn’t have a nail file to buff my nails after removing the insanely cantankerous Gelac polish. I essentially painted directly over nail beds that had the texture of steel wool.
My toes (which did NOT have petrified gel polish that needed to be removed with a sledgehammer) provide a more accurate representation of the glorious polish that has pretty much changed my life.
Chanel + Target + Feet = Katrina in a nutshell
Oh…you like the shoes?
As promised, I stopped at Target to make sure I completed “part B” of my Epic Pinterest fail turned glorious shoe shopping success.
Yeah. Rockin’ these mama’s is way better than sewing a giant bean bag or painting an octopus on canvas. (No offense, Sherry and Katie.)
As if the new shoes, designer nails and 70 degree weather wasn’t enough, I finally made my debut at the brand new Stargetbucks of Small Town.
No matter how warm the weather, I prefer my lattes hot.
You can take the girl out of Seattle, but you can’t take the Seattle out of the girl.
Basically, that’s the “clever” way of saying that after guzzling this bad boy, I ate a pound of smoked salmon before slipping into a pair of Birkenstocks.
Just kidding. Do you really think I’d slip on hippie shoes instead of prancing around the house in my new Pinterest heels? I’m not that Seattle.
Jolie thinks my attempt at walking in the heels made me look like an uncoordinated giraffe going through puberty.
I think she’s just jealous that I can actually wear shoes. And go through puberty.
“Who needs shoes when you look this sexy?”
Despite her cheap shots at my gracefulness, today was pretty much the best day ever.
And it can be just as fabulous for you — because I’m giving away a bottle of Chanel Polish to one lucky reader! You’ll be able to pick from these 37 adorable colors that Nordstrom has to offer:
And you have five, yes, five chances to enter! Leave a comment on this post for each one of the following:
1. Follow this blog in your reader or via email subscription. (1 comment…you can still comment if you’ve already followed!)
2. Like ‘Sota is Sexy on Facebook (1 comment…you can still comment if you’ve already “liked”!)
3. Share your favorite post (can’t be this one) on Facebook (1 comment)
4. Share your favorite post (can’t be this one) on Twitter (1 comment)
5. Pin your favorite post (can’t be this one) or the blog homepage on Pinterest (1 comment)
Each comment you leave on this post will counts as one entry. You must leave a comment on this page for your entry (or entries) to count. The giveaway closes at 8PM EST on Thursday, March 22.
Here’s to Stargetbucks, buying things you found on Pinterest, and spending way too much money on nail polish!
Liked this? Then try these: