I’ll never forget the day Crocs first infiltrated our home. We were living in Seattle, and Scott had ordered a pair from Amazon in secret. Sure, they were probably a practical investment–he was working in surgery at the time and kept coming home with sneakers ruined by blood splatters–but Crocs? Really?
You can imagine my shock when I intercepted the package one evening while Scott was at the gym. My metrosexual spouse had intentionally purchased a pair of rubber clogs?! I wasn’t quite sure what to do.
So, I left them sitting out in the entryway for him with a handwritten note.
The following day, Scott lost his job. (I can’t help but think this was the universe’s way of punishing him for ordering those shoes.)
Nearly three years later, Scott is enjoying a much better job in Minnesota. And I find myself living and working in a home with two dogs. Two dogs who need to be taken outside upwards of five times a day. As the weather grows colder, and our yard grows sloppier, I’ve somehow found myself slipping on Scott’s Crocs each time I venture outside with the dogs. Sure, I could shimmy into my Hunter rain boots instead, but they take so much longer to pull up over my calves!
And…as much as I hate to admit it…the Crocs are ridiculously comfy.
Unfortunately, they’re also about five sizes too big.
And so, in a moment of weakness I abandoned all fashion principles and ordered a pair for myself. Naturally, I opted for the most tasteful style–basic black without any holes.
And yes…In some instances, Crocs can be tasteful.
I already adore them, and have even contemplated snagging a pair of their new, stylish boot wedges. Yep. Crocs are a slippery slope, indeed. Much like TOMS, which I once swore up and down were the most atrocious footwear ever to be carried at Nordstrom. (I now own four pairs.)
Yet there remains a single-syllable footwear brand I’m still strongly opposed to. The day you see me in a pair of UGGs, you’ll know that hell (or possibly my back yard) has frozen over. I don’t care how soft their sheepskin lining is…those things put the “ugg” in “fuggly”.
(I know…fugly is spelled with only one “g”. Just go with it, okay?)
There. I said it. I know I’m in the minority with my aversion to UGG boots, so I’ll understand if you throw a couple pairs at your screen in anger as you read this. I’m sorry if I offended you, but it felt good to get that off my chest.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get back to worrying about how the universe is going to punish me for ordering those stupid black Crocs.
Here’s hoping they take it easy in me since I at least didn’t get ones with holes.