No…I’m not talking about that walk of shame.
Although a stroll of the “morning after still wearing my cocktail dress and mascara” variety may have been slightly less embarrassing.
Where do I even begin?
Yesterday, Scott and I drove down to Minneapolis to meet his dad for a nice Father’s Day lunch.
I should preface this by explaining that one of Scott’s favorite pastimes is watching various programs on the Food Network. It’s a habit that started in college as a way to vicariously indulge in food while he had to cut weight for wrestling, and ended up sticking. Why one would willingly watch cooking shows when restricting food is beyond me, but apparently, Scott has way more self-control than I do. Shocking, I know.
I can’t even tell you how many places we’ve eaten at simply because he saw them featured on Man vs. Food or Diners Drive-ins and Dives. In fact, we actually saw Guy Fieri, Food Network Host, while eating at one of these restaurants.
Oh…and we ran into Guy at Anchor Bar, the birthplace of Buffalo wings in Buffalo, NY if you’re curious.
Anyway…I suppose I can’t really complain about Scott’s affinity for tracking down Food Network hot spots, as they always end up being absolutely marvelous. Yesterday’s pick, Pizzeria Lola in Southwest Minneapolis, was no exception.
Unfortunately, it was pouring down rain when we arrived. As we drove past the entrance and saw a good 30 people lined up outside the door, we decided it would be best for Scott to drop me off out front so I could get our name on the list while he parked. At this moment, three things happened simultaneously:
1. I opened the door and stuck one foot out onto the street.
2. My coffee spilled all over my lap and inside my handbag.
3. Scott started driving away.
With me, drenched in coffee, still hanging halfway out the vehicle.
Naturally my response was to scream “DAMN IT, SCOTT!!!!!” and slam the door of our poor little Toyota as hard as I possibly could. For a moment, I worried I may have actually harmed the frame of our car.
That concern vanished as soon as I turned around and saw the line of 30 people, half of them small children, staring at the spectacle that has just occurred not ten yards in front of them.
The line of 30 people I had to immediately walk past in order to put our name on the list.
The line of 30 people I had to stand with for 45 minutes while we waited for our table.
Walk of shame.
If I recall correctly, Scott described the incident as “a scene and a half”, before laughing hysterically at all the stares I intercepted from youngsters wondering who the “mean lady” was.
In a nutshell, that’s how I ruined Father’s Day.
Although, some might argue that I truly ruined Father’s Day by drinking too much wine and talking non-stop for 90 minutes while everyone attempted to ignore me and get on with eating their pizza.
Scott has also suggested that the post-lunch wine-fueled IKEA shopping spree (which involved $700 and a smattering of bookcases and assorted potted foliage) may have also contributed to my general act of putting a damper on things.
Whatever — at least the pizza was good, right?