“Should I put a pair on?” I debated internally while lying on the floor in excruciating pain. I had thrown out my back during a deadlift the evening before, and had exerted a ridiculous amount of effort to transfer my throbbing body from the mattress to the floor of my bedroom.
I was on my way to the first chiropractic appointment of my life. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect…but with the way my back felt, I was willing to try just about anything.
I’m one of those people who wears underwear on a semi-regular basis. My choice ultimately depends on what I’m doing, what fabric will be covering my lower half, and whether or not I’m able to physically get my legs through the holes. (That last part was what I was worried about on this particularly morning.)
What does one even wear to the chiropractor, I pondered. Is the exam done with clothes on? What if I go commando, and then am asked to strip down to my skivies for the actual x-ray or something???
I decided not to risk chiropractic humiliation and take one for the team. It cost me a good twenty minutes…but after a great deal of blood, sweat and tears, I had managed to maneuver my crippled carcass into a clean pair of drawers. I strapped on a bra, awkwardly slithered into my most comfortable maxi dress, and hobbled out to the car.
I soon learned that a chiropractic exam and adjustment do not require the removal of any clothing. Clearly, this left me feeling incredibly stupid for stewing about such a non-issue.
Little did I know, I was about to feel even more stupid.
Leave it to me to pick the only pair of underwear in my closet with an attached charm that would show up clear as day on an x-ray.
And appear to be an exotic piercing.
I desperately wanted to explain that the “B” dangling from my pelvis was attached to my undergarments…not something else. I kept trying to find the words, but just couldn’t bring myself to address such an embarrassing misunderstanding. Before I knew it, the exam was over and I had missed my opportunity to explain myself.
The good news is, my chiropractor rocks. I’ve visited him twice now, and am healing quickly and feeling dramatically better each day. The best part? He doesn’t seem to judge me for my sketchy piercing that doesn’t actually exist.
(Which totally makes up for the fact that his office doesn’t accept my insurance.