The Infection ⁶

Leave it to me to adopt a dog with a raging yeast infection.

Perhaps I should start from the beginning.

****

A wise person once told me that “dogs are the new kids”.

Fine…I think I saw it on a t-shirt somewhere…but it’s always stayed with me. As someone who may or may not ever have children, Jolie (and now Penny) truly are my babies. In fact…in some ways my four-legged offspring are even better than babies. Here’s why:

• I can leave them in the car unattended so long as I crack the windows.
• When we fly, It’s socially acceptable to have them drugged and store them as carry-on’s under the seat in front of me.
• I can toss them in the basket on my bicycle and ride around town while being seen as ‘cute’ instead of ‘irresponsible’.
• They have tails.
• I can drink three margaritas while snuggling with them, and no one will think less of me.
• When I drop half a chicken breast on the kitchen floor and Scott steps on it with a muddy boot, it’s totally okay to feed it to them .
• They’ll never get pregnant out-of-wedlock (both have been spayed) (and dog’s can’t get married anyway, right?)
• Despite being full-grown, they can sleep in bed with me and it’s not at all creepy.
• I’ll never have to change their diapers. (Or put money into their college fund.)

Sure…my two little fur babies might not enrich my life in the way an actual child would…but they are so much easier to take care of.

Or so I thought.

The night we brought Penny home, I noticed she was itching her ears more than normal. She didn’t want me touching them, and when I was able to get close enough to make contact, she’d let out high-pitched yelp.

“I think she has a double ear infection.” Scott remarked. “You should probably take her to the vet.”

“I’m sure she’s fine.” I remarked. “Let’s just wait it out and see what happens.”

Then, I noticed her ears smelled strongly of bacon. Bad bacon. Twenty-four hours later, we were sitting in the waiting room of the Smalltown veterinary clinic.

The Doctor looked her over and seemed doubtful that anything was wrong. “Her ears look fine,” he observed, “I think she may just be an itchy dog who doesn’t like her ears touched.”

I rolled my eyes. Scott had overreacted once again.

“Let me just take a look inside those ears with my scope…just to make sure.” the Vet offered. I nodded in agreement, mentally tallying up how much this completely unnecessary vet appointment was going to set me back.

And then he said it.

“Hmmm. It looks really goopy in there.”

Alright. So maybe Scott hadn’t overreacted.

After gathering some cultures and peering under the microscope, Penny’s diagnosis was announced.

“She has a yeast infection in her left ear, and a yeast and fungal infection in her right ear. I never would have known without the scope, but it looks pretty bad. I’m guessing it’s been festering in there for quite some time.”

I suppose that would explain the bacon smell.

I was instructed to put medicine in Penny’s ears once a day for the next week, and clean her ears twice a week for at least a month. “I’ll show you how to do it.” the Vet offered. He then filled her ears with a clear solution, and massaged them for a few seconds.

“You’re going to want to do this in the shower,” he warned. “She’s going to shake her head and stuff will come flying out.”

Two seconds later, he removed his hands from Penny’s ears. As expected, there was lots of shaking.

What wasn’t expected was the quarter cup of black stuff that came flying out of Penny’s ears and splattering across the walls of our exam room. It literally took the nurse five entire minutes to scrub the residue away.

Before wiping away the very last stain, she paused to comment. “It kind of smells like….”

“Bacon?” I suggested.

She slowly nodded before tending to the last glob.

I can honestly say that for the first time in my existence as a dog mom, I would have much rather been changing a diaper.

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