Coffee

When the King closes a door, he opens a window. ⁴

Earlier this year, Scott and I got into an embarrassingly ridiculous fight in front of his family.

Over a coffee maker.

Remember my Tassimo single cup coffee brewer from this post about my favorite things?

My beloved.

Mr. Tassimo was a Christmas gift from my younger brother Janss. Despite retailing for over one-hundred dollars, Janss was able to snag him brand new for five bucks when the store he worked at had a major Tassimo surplus. From day one, it was a match made in heaven. I’ve always had trouble brewing coffee in a traditional coffee maker. Primarily because my lack of barista skills means I’m quite capable of destroying even the simplest pot of joe. Also, Scott doesn’t drink caffeine — since using a 12-cup machine to brew a single mug of coffee seemed pointless, I would always make at least four cups and then feel obligated to drink them.

The Tassimo solved for both of these problems — messing up my coffee was nearly impossible, and I could make one cup at a time–which meant I avoided the 4-cups-of-coffee-jitters that would make my hands shake well into the afternoon. It was perfect!

But not all was well in the Taylor kitchen. Someone had a serious problem with Mr. Tassimo, or perhaps more accurately, a serious problem with Mr. Tassimo’s single-serving coffee disks. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that this person just so happened to be my husband Scott, the King of Composting.

“Katrina,” the King complained, “Those discs are so wasteful. You can’t recycle them or compost the coffee grounds. Why can’t you just use a regular coffee maker like everybody else?”

“Ummm….because the coffee I make tastes like cat pee, and it’s a pain in the butt to make one cup at a time?”

Apparently this answer wasn’t good enough. (It also made the King suspect I had tried cat pee before.)

In an effort to win the King over, I tried opening up the discs to compost the coffee grounds and removing the foil so I could recycle the plastic. After sitting on the floor for ten minutes, attempting to slice off the top of a single disc with a steak knife, I threw in the towel. It was a complete waste of time, and there was a pretty good chance I was going to end up in the ER with a chopped off index finger. (A chopped off index finger that I’m sure the King would insist we throw in the compost bin.)

So, I returned to my daily Tassimo habit, throwing the discs away in the trash and hoping Scott wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately, King Taylor has a weekly ritual of emptying our trash bag on the floor, combing through its contents for items I forgot to recycle. One day in May, he discovered my stash of used Tassimo T-discs. He promptly announced we would be giving Mr. Tassimo up for adoption.

I wasn’t having it.

The argument went on for weeks. Both being extremely stubborn individuals, neither one of us was willing to compromise, and the conflict escalated. Things reached a breaking point when I made the mistake of recounting the dilemma to Scott’s family over Memorial Day Weekend.

“He’s insisting I get rid of it even though it’s my favorite thing in the kitchen, and was a gift from my brother!” I exclaimed.

As predicted, everyone took my side, lecturing Scott on how it was completely unfair to take Mr. Tassimo away from me.

Then things got ugly. I truly think it is hands down, the worst fight Scott and I have had in our nine years together.

And it was over a freaking Tassimo.

Eventually, I chose my husband over my coffee maker. We sent Mr. Tassimo to Omaha so he might live peacefully at my sister-in-law’s house. They take good care of him, he gets used every morning, and I even get to visit him when we’re back in Nebraska. The fact that he stayed within the family was comforting.

I returned to our old-fashioned coffee maker. After a while, it wasn’t so bad. My coffee-making skills improved, and I finally came to terms with the fact that it was perfectly acceptable to make a single cup of coffee in a 12-cup brewer.

But a few weeks ago, everything changed. Scott himself approached me with a proposition.

“Katrina — what would you think about getting a Keurig? They make a K-cup that’s reusable…you fill it with your own coffee grounds and wash it out after each use. I know you miss the Tassimo, but I think the Keurig would be even better, plus it wouldn’t be so wasteful, and we could compost the grounds.”

Ten minutes later, we were online selecting my new Keurig. Much to my surprise, Scott insisted on upgrading to the Platinum model. “It’s the most aesthetically pleasing.” he explained.

Mr. Keurig arrived in the mail yesterday, I’m already smitten.

My new boyfriend.

Sir Keurig makes hot or iced beverages in six different sizes. His temperature is adjustable. You can auto-program him and even adjust how strong your coffee is. At this point, I’m pretty sure he’s related to the iPhone. Sure, Mr. Tassimo will always have a special place in my heart, but Mr. Keurig pretty much blows him out of the water.

I think this story proves that compromise truly is good.

And that the King isn’t all bad.

********

In the market for a Keurig? We saved over sixty dollars by purchasing ours through Costco. They include the reusable K-cup for free, and have a special rebate going on until the end of the month!

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#PSL ²

I don’t know about y’all, but I love me some Labor Day weekend.

Particularly this Labor Day weekend as Scott and I were able to spend it at a friend’s wedding in Texas.

As it turns out, not only do I love me some Labor Day weekend, I also love me some Texas.

Mostly because it’s Jesus’ homestate and everyone has big hair. Also? The rumors about cinnamon rolls the size of your head are totally true.

#FatKidStatus

An added bonus was that I was able to wear red lipstick, a sequined dress and pageant hair out in public and it was totally normal.

Scott’s pink skinny tie? Not quite as normal…

It was a great wedding filled with great people, great fun, and great laughs. I’ve gotta say, I wasn’t quite ready for the holiday weekend to be over.

The good news?

It isn’t!

While Labor Day is certainly a historically significant holiday, I’d argue that Tuesday, September 4th, 2012 may be even more important.

I think you know where this is going.

It’s kind of amazing we all actually had to go to work on such an important occasion.

Image via Starbucks.com

That’s right. Today is the day when Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram are taken over by crazed Starbucks zombies demanding Autumn in a whip cream topped cup.

Need proof? Check out PSL’s omnipotent presence on the Twitterverse.

I only took screen shots of the snarky ones. You’re welcome.

Seriously, though…for every deliciously sarcastic tweet about the hyped-up beverage, there were hundreds of “OMG!!! I need a PSL NOW!!!!!!!” messages that kind of made me shed a tear for America.

And don’t even get me started on the 3,000+ #PSL photos on Instagram.

But here’s the bad part.

I kind of really want one.

While I realize this contradicts my recent decision to cut back on Starbucks, I feel an exception should be made when it comes to drinking pie out of a cup.

Because truly, everyone should be able to drink pie out of a cup once in a while.

Except maybe this guy.

Although I think that perhaps, all of us relate to this sentiment a little bit more than we’d like to admit.

Still, I’ve remained strong. This has less to do with my iron-clad self-control or distaste for American consumerism and more with the giant pile of processed cheese I ate for dinner. All I’m going to say is that it came from Taco John’s and probably could have fed a family of six. Even if a delicious pumpkin spice latte were sitting in front of me right now, I don’t think I’d be physically capable of ingesting it. The food coma is that severe.

Still, I’m going to roll with the whole “pretentious young woman exercising an incredible amount of willpower” angle.

We’ll just let the burrito of shame be our little secret. Cool?

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Processed snack time!

Their milkshakes bring all the girls to the yard ⁴

When I left Seattle for the wide open spaces of the Midwest, I had what one may describe as a serious Starbucks addiction.

A very serious Starbucks addiction.

So serious, I came this close to driving three hours to risk being shanked by a mom gang so I might be the very first customer at the new Stargetbucks in Smalltown.

A junkie, getting her fix.

Yes, it was that bad.

Six months later, I’m proud to say I’ve only visited the Stargetbucks in Smalltown twice.

Twice.

In six months.

And I didn’t even have to go to Promises for rehab!

Minnesota has really changed me, you guys.

So what happened? How did I go from compulsive latte drinker to once in a blue moon customer without even really trying? Let me break it down for you.

1. I started working at home.

We all know that Starbucks is less about the coffee and more about the actual experience. My daily Starbucks routine used to be the highlight of my morning, and sipping my skinny caramel macchiato while sitting at my desk truly provided me with a feeling of joy. Also? There were at least a dozen convenient Starbucks locations on my drive into work.

But now? Now that I telecommute, stopping by Starbucks is no longer convenient as it requires actually putting on clothes and leaving the house.

You know what is on my way to work? The trusty coffee maker in my kitchen.

2. I started saving more money.

Scott and I really like it here in ‘Sota. As a matter of fact, we’re hoping to buy a permanent residence as soon as all of our student loans are paid off next year. In preparation for this we’ve been trying to save money where we can, in order to set aside a few extra Benjamins for a down-payment on a home.

Here’s where the crazy coffee math comes in.

My signature drink, a grande skinny caramel macchiato, costs approximately $4.25. Let’s say I had five of these a week, one for every morning of the work week. (In all reality, it was probably more than this as some days I went twice, some days I ordered a pastry, and some weeks I wound up stopping in on the weekends once or twice.)

That’s at least $21.25 a week on coffee. Like I said, on average, it probably ended up being a even little more.

Which means I was spending $1,105.00 on coffee a year.

Eleven hundred dollars.

That’s a trip to Mexico! Four pairs of designer shoes! Enough to buy two different fancy espresso machines so I could make my own lattes at home!

My beloved Gevalia coffee that I’ve been brewing myself costs about $17 a month, or $204 a year. It’s still a significant chunk of change, but is much more reasonable by comparison. Agree?

3. Nobody in Smalltown cares about Starbucks.

I’ve already mentioned that Starbucks is more than just coffee — it’s about a luxurious and idealized experience. In my opinion, part of that experience is the “image” that the little green mermaid represents. In Seattle, my white and green coffee cup was more than just a beverage holder — it was a fashion accessory, and even a status symbol. In the city, smugly toting that adorable little cup in my right hand meant something.

But in Smalltown? In Smalltown, nobody walks around with a Starbucks cup. It loses its prestige and it’s status. The cup doesn’t mean anything.

Suddenly, the less other people started caring whether I drank Starbucks, the less I started caring whether I drank Starbucks.

4. I was paying over $1,000 a year to drink milkshakes.

Warm, sugar-free, non-fat milkshakes with just a tiny splash of coffee in them.

And don’t even get me started on the Frappuccino.

I’m not saying the custom beverages at Starbucks aren’t delicious — they totally are.

But to call them coffee? I think we all know that’s a little bit of a stretch.

******

While I’m no longer a daily Starbucks customer, I still love the company and look forward to stopping in for a caffeine boost every once in a while as a treat. But that’s the difference. Starbucks runs have become less of a morning ritual and more something I do once in a while — when I’m travelling for work, on vacation, or meeting a friend. While I will always love my skinny caramel macchiato I no longer feel as if I need it to survive.

And now that Starbucks is a once in a while indulgence as opposed to a non-negotiable component of my daily grind? I actually enjoy it more. Go figure.

Also? While I still treat myself to a sugar-free milkshake about half of the time, I’ve taken to ordering a grande drip coffee with just a splash of cream. And guess what? It actually tastes really good.

See? I told you Minnesota has changed me.

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My Favorite Things ⁹

Apologies for going AWOL yesterday. I was busy doing some really important research.

Alright, alright, I was watching Season 1 of AMC’s The Killing. I realize Betty Draper might shank me for saying this, but this new show just might be better than Mad Men.

(Sorry, Betty.)

To make up for yesterday’s lack of a post, I’ve decided to pretend I’m Oprah and share “My Favorite Things” with you all!

Before you get too excited, I should probably clarify something: when I say “share” I mean “show”. Unlike Oprah, my pocketbook doesn’t permit me to give away hundreds of luxury bath towels to all of my fans.

Also unlike Oprah, I don’t really have fans…unless you count Jolie, who wouldn’t even appreciate luxury bath towels in the first place, so really, it’s a moot point.

However, I do have a shopping problem and opinion…giving you a rundown of my favorite products as of late just seemed like a good idea.

So, without further ado, my five go-to items for Summer 2012.

1. Mood Moss

Obviously, Mood Moss is moss that sets the mood.

Unless you ask my sister Hayley. Then mood moss is “A biologically correct replica of the Jolly Green Giant’s testicles.”

Pfft. Shows how much she knows. (Although her comment did make me question my..err…groping in the photo above.)

Anyone who watches Khloe and Lamar knows that Khloe Kardashian keeps an oversized bowl full off mood moss on the island in her kitchen. Would an A-list celebrity like Khloe keep the Jolly Green Giant’s testicles in her home?

I think not.

All ball jokes aside, I’m kind of obsessed with the stuff and think it looks pretty darn swanky on my coffee table.

Or, as Hayley calls it, my “testicle table”.

2. Monogrammed Coffee Mugs

Don’t you just hate when you walk into Anthropologie and find the most perfect sundress in the whole wide world only to realize it costs $400?

But then don’t you love when you realize you can drown your sorrows by purchasing a pair of $6 coffee mugs instead? Already, I’ve used these mugs way more than I would have worn that silly old dress in the first place. Talk about smart shopping.

FYI, the “K” stands for Katrina, and the “S” stands for Sexy. (It used to stand for “Scott”, but he never drinks out of his cup. You snooze, you lose.)

3. Tassimo Single Cup Coffee Brewer

I originally tried to take a photo of me kissing the coffee maker. Unfortunately, it came off as less “cute” and more “inappropriate”.

This magical appliance was a Christmas gift from my younger brother Janss. It’s also the reason I needed to purchase the coffee mugs featured above. I realize this might come as a shock, but I haven’t visited Starbucks or Caribou Coffee once since we busted this thing open in March.

The Tassimo has literally saved me hundreds of dollars and thousands of calories. (Hasta la vista, caramel macchiato!)

More importantly, it has rescued me from my Caribou-Starbucks love triangle, which quite frankly, was starting to get a little awkward.

Unfortunately, my husband Scott (aka the King of Composting) is not on board with the Tassimo as the coffee filled t-discs it requires are (gasp!) not recyclable or compostable.

(This is the other reason the “S” coffee mug is no longer named “Scott”.)

4. Polenta!

Normally, I am opposed to food that comes from a tube.

I’m also typically opposed to photographing myself holding such food in my master bathroom.

Melissa’s organic sun-dried tomato polenta is the exception to both of these rules. Scott and I decided to try it last week, and holy wow!

The stuff is delicious, healthy, and can be prepared in a variety of ways that are sure to suit almost any palette. It’s actually quite hard for me to believe that all this time, my precious polenta has been sitting there in the grocery store, right next to the organic herbs, just waiting for me to try it.

It’s almost like after ten years of living in an apartment, you realize Jessica Simpson just so happens to be your next-door neighbor, and has been patiently waiting for you to ask her out on a coffee date.

Except instead of Jessica Simpson, it’s coarsely ground cornmeal, and let’s be honest…J-Simps definitely doesn’t live in an apartment.

But other than those minor details, it’s pretty much the same thing.

5. Macy’s Hotel Collection MicroCotton Luxe bath towels

Yes, I went there.

I’ve been lusting over these towels since I nearly added them to our wedding gift registry in way back 2007. Yet $30 for a single towel always seemed slightly ludicrous.

But you know what’s really ludicrous?

Moving half-way across the country during the middle of winter and not rewarding yourself with a set of $30-a-pop bath towels. (And a new Louis Vuitton handbag, but that’s an entirely different story.)

I’ve gotta say…these luxurious linens were worth every single penny. In fact, I’ve considered hiring a professional tailor to make all of my clothes out of these sinfully plush towels. They are that comfy. Sure, wearing towel clothes could get a little, well, sweaty…but that’s the beauty of it! They’re towels! Absorbent and stylish!

Okay…maybe not stylish.

So much for my theory that anything looks cute if you “belt it”.

And certainly not flattering.

And yes–crafting towel dresses a la Project Runway is what I do in my free time. When I’m not on eBay trying to find good deals on the Jolly Green Giant body parts, that is.

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