As Taylor Swift’s 2010 karaoke-like duet with Stevie Nicks showed us all, The Grammy Awards is less about actual vocal talent and more about…well…looking good and being famous.
With this in mind, I’m sure you’ll all understand if I skip over the actual musical aspect of “Music’s Biggest Night” and dive right into my snarky color commentary. Sound good? (Or at least better than that the Swift + Nicks catastrophe sounded?)
Beyonce in Michael Costello
All hail, Queen Bey! Mrs. Carter stole the show in this gorgeous frock by everyone’s favorite overly sensitive Project Runway alum.
I mean….I could pretty much end the blog post right here. This look is that perfect.
Taylor Swift In Gucci Premiere
I’m gonna be honest — T-Swift gets on my nerves in a major way, and for once, I’d love to see an epic red carpet fail from her. But there’s simply no denying how flawless this is. I wish I had an excuse (and a couple grand set aside) so I could wear this dress somewhere. A trip to the fanciest chain restaurant in all of Smalltown, perhaps?
Ciara in Emilio Pucci
This right here? This is how you do red carpet maternity wear. (Not with a crop tough...cough! Kerry Washington! cough!)
She looks stunning from every angle. This almost makes me want to get pregnant so I can go purchase fabulous maternity gown. Almost.
Amber Rose in Naeem Khan
Va va voom! That’s what I call voluptuous glam. And let’s face it…Wiz Khalifa is always the best accessory.
Chrissy Teigen in Johanna Johnson
Ariana Grande in Dolce & Gabanna
“I’m so sorry, Miss Grande. This is the Grammy’s. The ‘Sophie Turns Seven!’ tea party had to be moved next door.”
Katy Perry in Valentino
This look is so close to being spot on for me…but I can’t seem to get past her updo, which just feels matronly. Also? Sheet music on a skirt is kind of bizarre. Even if it is Valentino.
Bonnie McKee in Gustavo Cadile
(Now that she’s finally grown legs she should probably focus on hiring a better stylist.)
Paula Patton, designer unknown
Sorry honey, but zebra stripes are not the new blurred lines.
Paris Hilton in Haus of Milani
This is how the fashion gods punish overpriveledged socialites who try to copy Beyonce’s Grammy look.
Madonna in Ralph Lauren Collection
There’s a lesson we can all learn from Madge’s ensemble: never allow your nine-year-old son to double as your stylist. (Although I must admit, her glove is totally fierce.)
Pharelle in a Vivienne Westwood hat
Sorry Vivienne, but he looks like the hip-hop version of Dudley Do Right from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Malina Moye, designer unknown
The flames from Scott’s Super Bowl grease fire looked oddly similar to this dress. (And not in a good way.)
What were your fave looks of the night? Anyone else have a vendetta towards T-Swift that may or may not spawn from a jealousy they’ll never find the courage to publicly admit?
(Can you blame me? Girl stole my last name! And Jake Gyllenhaal! That’s two strikes, Tay Tay.)