Sweatshirts are Sexy 4
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It seems that whenever I make an attempt to look cute, it backfires in the form of an extremely honest comment from my husband.
Alright…he doesn’t actually say anything…but I’ve become quite skilled at seeing past the blank, confused stares and decoding what he’s actually thinking.
Here are a few examples:
“You look like you’re wearing a dead pineapple on your head.”
“That spray tan is ridiculous.” (Same dress, different insult.)
“Are you going to the gym? Or to the eighties?”
“I’m sorry…you mean to tell me you actually paid MONEY for that sequined jersey??”
“We’re not going to Wal-Mart until you take those ridiculous shoes off.”
“What…is today “dress up like a Real Housewife of New Jersey day’ or something?”
“You look like a contestant on Toddlers and Tiaras” (I actually took that one as a compliment.)
“It’s like a futuristic birds nest that recieves messages from outerspace. Messages that are attempting to tell you how absurd you look.”
The ironic thing is that Scott is extremely fashion forward. You’d think he’d understand my attempts to experiment with clothing and accessories.
Luckily, I’m pretty confident in my fashion choices. I also firmly believe you should dress to please yourself, not your husband.
Plus, it’s not like Scott never gives me compliments or anything. He tells me I look nice all the time…it just usually happens when I’m not actually trying to look attractive. Why, just this morning he told me he loved my outfit.
I was flattered…and also slightly confused.
He then proceeded to completely freak me out.
Here’s a recap of our conversation while I drove him to work this morning:
Scott: I like that sweatshirt.
Me: Really? Uh…thanks.
Scott: Where did you get it?
Me: It’s just a cheapey I picked up at Old Navy while I was back in Seattle. It’s comfy.
Scott: Could I get one?
Me: Huh?
Scott: Can we get one of those for me?
Me: Wait…you want one? Like, to wear?
Scott: I would pay fifty dollars for one. (This was said in a very strange yet gentle Southern accent that made me question whether he was actually being serious.)
Me: Are you kidding? Or do you truly want one of these sweatshirts?
Scott: I’m serious. I want one.
Me: You realize this is a woman’s sweatshirt.
Scott: You can’t tell, though.
Me: It has three-quarter length sleeves.
Scott: I always roll my sleeves up anyway.
At this point, we started discussing something else. I think it was kittens, but I’m not entirely sure.
His dad’s farm cat had babies. I’m trying to convince him to adopt one. He’s trying to convince me that Jolie would eat it.
At the end of the day, I still can’t tell if he was serious or not. I think what he was trying to say is that he would like the men’s equivalent of the crew neck sweatshirt I was wearing.
Yet I can’t help but feel slightly disturbed by the fact that he’s considering purchasing women’s clothing.
Women’s clothing from Old Navy, nonetheless.
I mean, if you’re going to start dressing in drag, you should at least start with a few nice staples from Nordstrom before diving into the murky depths of the Old Navy activewear section.
On the bright side, at least he didn’t ask me to buy him a pair of the yoga pants I was wearing.
Apologies for the visual.
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Apr 24, 2012 @ 18:08:38
I won’t lie, I spent a very long time trying to find the perfect yellow zip up, and ended up finding it in the Old Navy Men’s section. Although I made sure to buy a small so my bf couldn’t steal it. And, provided the Vikings stay in Minnesota I have to know where you got that sequined jersey!!! I’ve never seen one like that and would love to add it to my game day wardrobe! The real housewives of new jersey outfit is also something I could rock, although the fur on the sweater is a little more loud than I’m comfortable with. And I love the blue heels! Plus I do love that dress you featured in two different pictures so cute!
Apr 24, 2012 @ 18:15:17
Aw, thanks Katie! You’re so sweet! The Vikings Jersey is Victoria Secret Pink. It’s sold out, but they have another one that is pretty similar:
http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265788024221&c=Page&cid=1332988407220&pagename=vsdWrapper
That’s so cool that you’re doing Grandma’s half marathon! I signed up, but didn’t get a spot in the lottery. I’m doing the Athletica Half the June instead
Apr 25, 2012 @ 04:22:53
MEN! all they want to do is take take take.
Jul 12, 2012 @ 16:46:53
I just discovered your blog (love it) so I’m catching up, hence this comment is a few months late. But I feel compelled to comment in your defense: has your husband actually looked at himself in those last two pictures? Especially the last one??