Screw you, zucchini bread. 8
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I am way too tired to write a blog post today.
What’s that? You need proof?
Oh, I will give you proof.
Me, sleeping with my eyes open at work today.
Naturally, I still have to teach a Turbo Kick class tonight, then come home and pack for our trip.
That’s right, another trip. Scott and I are flying to San Diego tomorrow. Being that our flight is at 9:00 am we must rise at 4:00 and be out the door by 5:00. In the morning. This right here? This is what life looks like when you live hundreds of miles from the nearest airport.
Is it completely sad and pathetic that I’m really looking forward to at least hitting up McDonald’s on our drive down for one of those McGriddle pancake heart attack sandwich things?
Wait. On second thought, please don’t answer that.
Also? For some strange reason, I volunteered to bake four loaves of zucchini bread before our departure.
After making the zucchini bread early this morning (which turned out beautifully, by the way) Jolie promptly decided to step in it.
Fast forward five minutes, and you’ll see me, taking my zucchini-bread-ruining dog outside, completely oblivious to the fact that a brand new loaf of marbled mocha breakfast bread is melting on top of my hot, glass stovetop. Plastic bag and all.
Moments later, my iPhone breaks.
There also happens to be a large, mysterious scab on my chest. I have absolutely no idea how it got there, but it keeps falling off in the shower. (So much for all the low-cut tanks I specifically purchased for this trip to California.)
Did I mention we somehow forgot to book a hotel in San Diego?
Basically…I need a drink. A very stiff drink. Yet I’m afraid to mix alcohol with extreme exhaustion as it will undoubtedly end with me forgetting to pack toothpaste and underwear for California. And lets be honest, nothing is worse than going commando while simultaneously having really bad breath.
Aside from going commando, having really bad breath and NOT EVEN HAVING A HOTEL TO STAY IN!
Deep breath.
In other words, there is no post today. I send you my sincerest apologies.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat a disgusting amount of ruined zucchini bread and cry while packing my underwear and toothpaste.
But I’m not giving up hope. I will make it to tomorrow morning, and will get my beloved McGriddle sausage cheese and cellulite sandwich.
Not to mention making it to San Diego and starting in on this whole vacation thing.
But really? Right at this moment? It’s pretty much exclusively about that sandwich.
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Aug 15, 2012 @ 08:59:14
YOU are funny! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, but never posted a comment because I’m not a blogger, and bloggers are so weird about that. THEN I decided that I am in fact a blogger, I just don’t post at an endorsed blogging site, but at a computer forum, but that doesn’t make me not a blogger, damnit! Besides, I have ~8,500 posts there, making me official as hell in the blogging world, right?
Keep writing, because you’re entertaining as hell, and someday the world will discover you, like they did with my niece, which is how I found your blog.
Aug 16, 2012 @ 11:19:15
Wow, thank you so much! Flattered to have you as a reader and now, a commenter
And yes, posting on a forum *totally* makes you a blogger — especially if you have over 8,500 posts! What’s the link to your forum? And what is your nieces blog? Would love to check out both of them.
Aug 16, 2012 @ 11:35:11
My niece is a bit well-known in the blogging world. Her website is http://thebloggess.com/ You may have heard of her?* The forum where I post is http://forums.anandtech.com/ BTW, I only read two blogs on a regular basis, even though I’ve tried reading hundreds, if not thousands. Jenny’s is the other one.
Oh, and the forum to which I post is a computer hardware forum, and I usually don’t post anywhere except the CPU forum. You may or may not find that an interesting read.:D
*That wasn’t TOO sarcastic, was it?
Aug 16, 2012 @ 18:45:54
Holly balls, you’re niece is the Bloggess!?! She is pretty much my mentor. In blogging, life, and if I’m being totally honest, the act of collecting dead animals
Tell her she has a HUGE fan in Minnesota!
And in my opinion, you can never be TOO sarcastic. I’m actually drawn to people with an overly dry sense of humor
Seriously so flattered that you read the blog — and glad to have you as a new commenter. Welcome to ‘Sota!
Aug 16, 2012 @ 18:46:19
*Holy Balls, not Holly balls..hehehe
Aug 17, 2012 @ 11:22:21
I can tell you this much, at least in my opinion: you’re doing everything right so far. Have your own website, check. Be funny, check. Use Facebook to let us all know you’ve posted a new blog, check. Come up with original things to say, check.
It now only requires some time, along with seemingly endless guest blogging, if I remember correctly. You’ll get there, just wait and see. And if you don’t, I offer a full money-back guarantee!!*
*I’ll refund all of the money that you’ve ever given to me, of course…
Aug 16, 2012 @ 12:13:46
In case you were serious about reading a bit of the forum where I post, here is a link to the latest thread to which I replied a few times: http://forums.anandtech.com/showthread.php?t=2263923
Aug 16, 2012 @ 18:43:17
You’re a great writer! I took the time to read through this thread, and was actually really interested/entertained by a topic I don’t really know all that much about! That’s saying something!