Life of the party ¹

When Scott’s Saturday turkey hunt in Nebraska was postponed due to weather, we quickly adjusted our weekend plans. The cold, rainy day was a perfect opportunity to visit his sister and her family, who live just one hour south of where we were staying. The catch? Scott had forgotten to actually tell his sister we were coming to Nebraska–you can imagine her husband’s surprise when I called the house that morning.

“Hey!” I chirped energetically. “We’re in town! What are you guys up to today?”

And then it was my turn to be surprised.

Apparently, it was our niece’s fourth birthday party. (Cue the forgetful Aunt and Uncle of the year award!)

We rushed to Target and bought the frilliest, sparkliest gift we could find before rolling into the four-year-old fiesta just in the nick of time. The look on our nieces’ and nephew’s faces when we made our surprise debut was priceless. I was so glad we had been able to attend the gymnasium-themed party, and was really looking forward to spending the afternoon catching up with everyone.

I turned to express my excitement to Scott, but he was long gone. Apparently, a gym full of toys = his kind of party.

But the fun didn’t stop with Scott’s scooter antics. Moments later, I found him hula hooping with his new BFF.

The two were later spotted coloring in the cake room.

A bromance with a slightly inappropriate age gap.

Much to my surprise, Scott is quite the coloring book prodigy. Although I suppose his art could be considered a little bit “dark”.

This could be worth a pretty penny someday.

Just go back to sleep, Aurora.

In a twist of irony, Scott had his own mentally unstable Disney princess moment at dinner later that night. Lipstick and all. In an attempt to fill the awkward silence with some laughter, he grabbed my new tube of MAC Ruby Woo and hastily started applying.

No offense honey, but that's not really your best color.

No offense honey, but I think you’d look better in “Candy Yum Yum”

The good news? His impromptu makeover broke the ice and put everyone in high spirits.

The bad news?

I’m married to the 30-year-old equivalent of a toddler with gender issues.

(But at least dinner’s always interesting.)

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I promise this is the last post about Sheila. (At least for a while.)

Mmmmm. Pheasant. ⁰

I’ve been planning a post all weekend that involves Scott coloring pictures of Sleeping Beauty, getting confused for Captain America, and wearing red lipstick. And yes, these events all occurred in the same extremely confusing yet ridiculously fun day.

Unfortunately, I was way too exhausted/busy/behind schedule to crank it out in time for today, as we just returned home from a weekend of fun in Nebraska.

The good news?

I’ve since stumbled upon a restaurant you simply have to experience. (If you’re willing and/or able to travel to Nebraska, that is.)

Roosters at Pheasant Bonanza is a 1950s hunting style bar and restaurant located at Pheasant Bonanza Hunt Club in Tekamah, NE. Our dear friend is the General Manger of the resort, and had invited is for a weekend of turkey hunting (I stayed back for that part) and fine dining at the new restaurant. Let me just say that I had ridiculously high expectations, which were completely blown out of the water. This place is, for lack of a better gangsta phrase, off the chain.

Enjoying dinner at Roosters at Pheasant Bonanza in Tekamah, NE

This photo of my friends and I will have to suffice. I would have taken a picture of the food, but I was too busy scarfing it down while making inappropriate “yum” noises. There was simply no time for photos.

Roosters is open Thursday and Saturday evenings, and features a prix fixe menu that changes weekly. For twenty-five dollars a person, you’ll enjoy an appetizer (smoked pheasant, cheese that is more addicting than crack cocaine, and some homemade focaccia that I’m sure Scott will attempt to recreate this week.) Our entrée included the best scallops I’ve ever eaten, jumbo prawns, smoked pork belly and a creamy polenta that pretty much changed Scott’s life. He cried out “polenta!” in his sleep last night, which I’ll take as a sign he was dreaming about it. Dessert was a deliciously dense pineapple upside down cake with a Tuaca-soaked cherry and some bomb-diggity cream cheese frosting.

(Food critics totally use the phrase “bomb-diggity” right?)

Other than purchasing Sheila, that meal just may have been the best $25 I’ve ever spent. The chef makes everything from scratch, uses only the best ingredients, and will prepare you something that is on par with meals you’d pay three times as much for in New York or Seattle.

Have I convinced you to travel to Nebraska, yet?

Oh…and don’t forget to tell them I sent you. They’ll make sure to give you a massive discount.

Alright…fine. I made the discount thing up. While I don’t think I can score you half-off your meal, the manager was Scott’s college roommate, so you’ll at least get some embarrassing stories from undergrad.

And honestly? Those stories are way better than a discount in the first place. (Especially when enjoyed over a platter of smoked pheasant and cheese that’s more addicting than crack cocaine. Take my word for it.)

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Prom BINGO ⁴

A few weeks ago, I had the unique experience of witnessing the dramatic spectacle commonly known as “prom” in Smalltown.

Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, prom was still a major milestone, but not like it is in ‘Sota. This was immediately apparent the instant I stepped through the local high school’s doors to attend “Grand March”, or as I like to call it, “Minnesota Cotillion”.

I’m pretty sure I was one of the few people in attendance who didn’t have a close friend or family member marching down the rope-light runway in an evening gown. To avoid looking out-of-place, I brought my own activity to keep busy with.

Reason #469 that Katrina is a bad person.

I also had two of my dearest friends to keep me company.

I swear. Those bottles are filled with WATER.

Although I’m kind of bummed that they are. This would have been the perfect opportunity to recreate the rebellious high school experience I never actually had the first time around!

The good news?

I totally won at BINGO!

But then again, I was the twenty-eight year old woman in the back of the bleachers, living vicariously through the young, tan specimens prancing down the runway in backless dresses while I made passive aggressive comments to my BINGO card. (And drank from a sketchy looking water bottle)

So really…I think that means I lose.

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Processed snack time! ⁹

I recently had the experience of grocery shopping with a friend — talk about eye-opening! She had all of these great go-to snacks that I’d never even considered! Lemon pepper single-serve tuna packs? How is it possible I did not know about these glorious fish treats?!?

The shopping trip got me out of my run-of-the-mill grocery list rut and added some much-needed variety to my pantry.

Because I’m a giver, I’m paying it forward and passing the favor along to all of you. Without further ado, my three favorite processed snacks. (Because everyone knows blogging about bananas and organic quinoa is no fun.)

1. Oikos Key Lime Yogurt

I’m totally in love with this stuff. (And not just because John Stamos is the spokesperson. Seriously…what on earth happened to that man’s career?)

I’ve sampled just about every greek yogurt in existence, and this one is the hands down winner. Is it sugar and fat-free? Nope. But is it worth all 160 calories? You bet. Key lime pie is one of my favorite desserts, and this stuff tastes so close to the real thing, its not even funny.The best part? You don’t even have to stir it! (Seriously…nothing is worse than the effort required to mix up those Chobani fruit on the bottom yogurt cups.) Want to take it over the top? Add a few graham cracker crumbs to really make it feel like dessert.

Bonus points for eating one of these while watching Full House reruns.

2. MorningStar Corn Dogs

If there’s one thing I’m passionate about, it’s corn dogs. (And a good Poodle workout video, but that’s an entirely different blog post.)

Since discovering these bad boys last month, I’ve been single-handedly keeping the vegetarian corn dog business afloat with my two dogs a day habit. These taste just like a true corn dog, and are so much healthier than the “real” thing. Plus, they are one of the few foods that actually tastes great when microwaved! Slap some Dijon mustard on them and you have my current favorite food on the planet.

It should be noted that Scott harasses me daily for choosing fake processed meat products as my go-to meal, which means I’m forced to eat these in secret while he’s away at work. I also may be recycling their empty cardboard containers behind his back. A small price to pay for my beloved carb covered meat sticks, if you ask me.

Wait…you don’t think I have a problem, do you?

3. Pure Protein Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars

Everyday around 3:00pm, I get a craving for a candy bar.

These have been the Godsend that saves me from a potential Snickers overdose. I’ve been eating these little guys regularly for the past 3 years, and love them more and more as each day passes. Sure, there’s some bad stuff in them…but they stop my chocolate cravings in their tracks, and taste more like a sugary treat than a protein supplement. At 200 calories and 20 grams of protein, they’re the perfect afternoon snack that I promise you won’t regret.

What you will regret? Finding twelve Reese’s Peanut Butter cup wrappers crammed into the back of your desk while giving your office a minimalist makeover. Apparently, I must have been out of protein bars that day…?

*****

So what are your favorite processed snacks? Spill it in the comments and we can all expand our arsenal of munchies in the process. Kind of like an internet potluck with out the potential of food poisoning or jello salad!

*****

Psst! My first article for Levo League is up. Check it out!