A series of stupid decisions I made over the weekend:
1. Eating a ridiculously hot chicken wing. To my credit, I was attending a 21st birthday party, and feeling kind of…well…old. Something about taking a risk and ingesting the wing tricked me into believing I was closer to 20 than 30.
(And to think, if I had managed 11 more I would have gotten a free t-shirt and my name on the wall!)
2. Going through an uncovered drive-thru in the middle of one of the worst downpours I’ve ever experienced. Truly, the only thing worse than eating greasy fast food is eating greasy fast food that’s sopping wet.
3. Purchasing a high-waisted graphic print jumpsuit, complete with cutouts that are strategically placed over my Christmas hams. (That’s my affectionate nickname for “love handles”.)
4. Drinking an entire bottle of wine before hitting up T.J. Maxx. (Don’t worry — I didn’t drive. But yes…this may have been behind the Christmas ham jumpsuit.)
5. Dedicating my Sunday afternoon to the two-hour Breaking Amish Season 1 reunion special. (The worst part? It was on-demand, which meant I selected it from dozens of more preferable viewing options out of my own free will.)
6. Ordering “The Tour of Italy” at–cringe–the Olive Garden. (Scott still doesn’t know about this.)
7. Willingly drinking a giant glass of Mountain Dew. I hate Mountain Dew! I judge people who drink Mountain Dew! (Let’s just say it’s kind of a long story.)
8. Willingly drinking a giant glass of Mountain Dew fifteen minutes before bedtime. Pretty sure that stuff is made of nothing but caffeine and mildly toxic food coloring.
Truly, my only sound decision of the weekend was finally getting around to starting season 1 of Vikings. Ragnar Lothbrok is pretty much my new hero. Can you blame me? He’s strong, has awesome hair, and has probably never allowed a drop of Mountain Dew through those rugged Nordic lips of his.
Seriously…why are all the bad choices I make a direct result of the things I put in my mouth?