20/20 Experience: Top 20 Moments

20/20 Experience: Top 20 Moments 3

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On Friday, I had the pleasure of watching Mr. Justin Timberlake–and his swiveling hips of hypnotic sex appeal–take the Fargodome by storm.

I still can’t believe I just typed that sentence. Never in a million years did I think that at age 29, I would be attending at JT concert in…gulp…North Dakota. I always pictured myself living in some swanky Seattle condo, catching an indie band at The Tractor while sipping on an ironically hip can of PBR.

Life is just full of surprises, isn’t it? And to be perfectly honest, I’ll take Justin and a can of Mike’s over indie bands and hipster beer any day of the week. (No offense, Seattle.)

mikes

If that doesn’t cement my status as a Midwestern woman, I don’t know what does.

Still think I’m crazy for choosing Mr. Jessica Biel over Bright Eyes? The following list from my brush with N’Sync royalty might just be enough to convince you of my sanity.

Top 20 Moments of the 20/20 Experience

20. Dinner at Wasabi - Believe it or not, it is possible to find really good sushi in North Dakota.

19.Doing my hair all by myself, and actually having it turn out somewhat like my inspiration photo.

Because, you know...sometimes we're REALLY hard to tell apart.

Because, you know…sometimes we’re REALLY hard to tell apart.

18. Ordering three glasses of wine at dinner - and not feeling even slightly guilty about it. (Thank you K&K, for not judging me.)

17. Wearing my Rent the Runway Dress - By complete and total accident, the print ended up looking very similar to Justin’s 20/20 album cover. I got tons of compliments and felt totally fabulous. Will definitely be “borrowing” from them again.

dress

16. Wearing my new Sam Edelman heels.  With a sprained ankle. Luckily, I experienced an orthopedic miracle and didn’t have a single ankle issue. Sure, my feet were killing me by the end of the night…but that’s the price of trying to be six feet tall.

shoes

Despite taking a ridiculous amount of photos over the course of the evening, not a single one showed my shoes. Whoops.

 

15. Walking into the Fargodome sans coat.  Did I mention it was -4 degrees? And that we were in sky-high heels? Us Midwestern gals are pretty hard-core.

cold

 

14. Remembering there would be a “merch” table.  Oh, how I love me some concert merch. “They better have panties!” I exclaimed as we excitedly approached the table of JT gear.

13. Realizing the merch table did in fact have panties! (Technically, they were boy shorts. Whatever.)

boyshorts

13. Walking away from the merch table without sed panties. Willpower for the win! (Although I did end up with a pretty sweet crop top.)

12. Discovering glasses of wine were only six dollars. Six dollars? At a concert venue?! Another benefit of living in the uber-affordable “flyover states”.

11. Graduating from red wine to Mike’s Hard Lemonade. “Whoa. Were they out of wine?” Kaitlin asked. “Nope,” I admitted sheepishly, “This was my first choice.” (Again, thank you to my friends for not judging me.)

10. Realizing the concert wasn’t sold out. We were able to sneak four sections over and nab way better seats. All the better for seeing those swoon-worthy hip gyrations!

9. The moment Justin took the stage. I instantly reverted to my fifteen-year-old, squealing self. (Just with a 40-ounce bottle of Mike’s in my hand this time.)

8. Hearing Justin mistakenly refer to us as South Dakota. Hi-freaking-larious. He quickly made up for this by proclaiming “It’s really f*$%#@* cold here!” Yes, Justin. Yes it is. (Never have I felt so validated!)

7. Realizing that if I left Scott for Justin, he could have Jessica Biel, which means he’d be totally okay with it.

6. JT singing Michael Jackson’s “Human Nature. Pure goosebumps.

5. People watching. Let’s just say some interesting folk came out of the woodwork for this musical spectacular. Special thanks to the couple a few rows in front of us who insisted on having sex with their clothes on through the entire show.

4. Justin’s hair. While I could tell homeboy was overdue for a blowout, to behold that ‘do in person is truly a thing of wonder.

3. Pure talent. He can dance. He can sing. He can talk to the crowd without sounding like a pompous Hollywood jackhole. He can thrust his hips and play acoustic guitar at the same time! Magnificent.

2. Friends. There’s nothing better than experiencing the concert of a lifetime with two fabulously dressed divas who still like you even when you spill Mike’s all over their merch bags. (Sorry, girls.)

friends

1. McDonalds at 1:00 am. Did you know they recently added a buffalo chicken sandwich to their dollar menu?

Those 400 calories of deliciousness might have been even better than JT’s live performance of “Mirrors”.

Yup. Totally went there.

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The Fab Five: February 2014

The Fab Five: February 2014 2

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Oh, February. You’re bitterly cold, and not very exciting..but at least you have Valentine’s Day, Sochi, and Season 2 of House of Cards to offer. Maybe you’re not so terrible, after all.

Still, it never hurts to have five fabulous items to get you through the shortest month of the year. Here’s what I’m loving for the next three weeks.

1. Rent the Runway

dress

 

I “borrowed” the above dress to wear to tonight’s Justin Timberlake concert, and couldn’t be happier with it. The entire RTR process has been so positive–I’ll definitely be using their services again. I love the fact that I can have a night out in a fabulous three-hundred dollar dress for only thirty bucks. Scott loves that I’m not adding to my already too-large collection of cocktail wear. I’ll be writing a full review on my experience next week…but if you’re on the fence about giving them a try, I highly recommend them!

 

2. The Olympics

sochi

 

The Olympic games certainly are magical, aren’t they? Not only in the sense that they unite athletes from around the world for competition, celebration and tradition…but also for the fact that they transform yours truly into a deeply crazed sports fan. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

While initially concerned our recent decision to cancel cable might hinder our viewing experience, NBC has pulled through with live WiFi streaming of nearly every event. In other words, I won’t be seeing my husband (or our iPad) for the next three weeks.

oly

I literally awoke at 6 am to the sound of Scott fumbling for his phone before yelling, “Siri, what time is it in Sochi, Russia?!”

(Another reason the Olympics are magical — He’s only naturally woken up that early three times in the last 11 years.)

 

3. Stella & Dot

Remember the Tiffany’s necklace that quite literally turned me into an active (and very angry) Hawaiian volcano?

Thanks to Stella & Dot, I found a much more affordable (and just as fabulous) option.

arrow

 

Scott even congratulated me with a condescending “Good job, Katrina.” when I showed him my find. That’s definitely a first.

I’ve since become obsessed with the young, fun line, and am slowly starting to build a collection of fun new pieces…most of which are bracelets. “Arm party” might just be my new favorite phrase.

arm

My current “mini” arm party.

I think I need to invite some more bracelets, don’t you? Namely, this one I’ve asked begged for as a Valentine’s Day gift.

 

4. Fig Butter

fig

Tradey’s, you’ve done it again. This fig butter is sweet, delicious, and goes great with just about anything. Scott’s new favorite combo is a slice of celery filled with generous dollops of both fig and almond butter. He adores this new snack so much, he roused me from my slumber at half past midnight one evening, begging me to come downstairs so I might sample “The best thing I’ve ever made in my entire life!” (His words, not mine.)

 

5. Strip Eyelashes 

lashes

I started wearing these falsies in high school as part of my stage makeup routine for musicals, and now turn to them whenever I need a little extra “oomph” around my eyes. If I wasn’t so lazy, I’d probably wear the more natural looking ones every day. Take it form me–fake lashes make a bigger impact than any other cosmetic “trick” out there.

In Smalltown, eyelash extensions are all the rage. I have three major problems with this:

  1. They’re really, really expensive.
  2. They look freakishly long and a little bit weird.
  3. The application process takes a million years, and you have to get them “filled” every couple of weeks.

I happen to prefer the look of strip lashes, not to mention their much lower price tag. Wal-Mart, Target and Walgreens have a wide selection to choose from, and you can usually take home an entire kit for under seven bucks. Because I’m cheap (and possibly slightly unhygienic) I reuse my strip eyelashes until they’re no longer wearable.

As far as application goes, I prefer to pass on the tools, and simply apply a small dot of adhesive to my index finger, which I then run along the edge of the strip. Let the glue dry enough to get tacky before pressing along your lash line. (TIP: It helps if you already have you eye makeup–including eyeliner and a coat of mascara–on before you do this.) The first time might be a little tricky, but after a few practice sessions, you’ll be slapping those bad boys on like a pro. Your bank account will thank you, as will your dinner date who won’t have to pretend he doesn’t notice when one of your abnormally long extensions falls off and gracefully flutters into his caesar salad.

(And yes…I’ve heard of that actually happening.)

*******

Seven days down, twenty-one to go. What products are you using to get you through the frigid temps of February?

Psst! Want more Fab Five posts? They’re all right here!

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Karma’s an ankle roll

Karma’s an ankle roll 5

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Remember that online shopping ban Scott made me commit to?

We’re barely past the first week and may have, kind of, possibly, sort of broken it already.

On a pair of shoes.

But what if I told you these weren’t just any shoes….they were Sam Edelman shoes?

And that they weren’t an impulse buy as I’ve been swooning over them for no less than three months?

Still not convinced? Would your opinion be swayed if I happened to mention they were ordered at the last-minute to be worn at tomorrow night’s Justin Timberlake concert?

I can't decide who's prettier...Justin, or the shoes.

I can’t decide who’s prettier…Justin, or the shoes.

My beloved size 7 cage toe booties have been sold out for ages. You can see how when I received this email earlier in the week, I took it as a sign that they needed to be ordered immediately. For Justin’s sake.

email

Let’s just say it’s a personal philosophy of mine that when Nordstrom sends you an email telling you to hurry the eff up and buy a pair of shoes, you listen.

And that, blog friends, is how I wound up charging these bad boys to our Amex card, complete with an extra fee for expedited shipping. (Once again….it was for Justin’s sake.)

shoes

 

I felt quite pleased with myself for nabbing the heels just in time for the concert. They’d perfectly compliment the dress I’d ordered from Rent the Runway,  but would also serve as a closet staple I could wear over and over. I congratulated myself on having the insight (and cahones) to bend the rules when necessary.

And then I sprained my ankle.

Last night while teaching Turbo Kick  I  landed very very poorly on my right foot while coming down from a plyometric knee strike. It rolled, I tripped, and then just hopped around on leg while yelling cues to the rest of the class, miming the choreography with only my upper body. I then instructed everyone to grab a mat. We spent fifteen minutes doing countless leg and hip pulses that looked awkwardly inappropriate, but were literally the only thing I could do without disturbing my injury. Sometimes, improvisation means forcing a group of adults to perform 134 hip thrusts while loudly yelling, “I promise…this is good for your glutes!”

While I’m happy to report I at least had the sense to sprain my right ankle instead of reinjuring the left one, I realized this morning that this sprain is much worse. Despite copious amounts of ibuprofen and ice, I’ve found myself crawling around the house on all fours as it’s significantly faster and less painful than walking, which has been extremely confusing to both Penny and Jolie. Truth be told, I probably need crutches, but refuse to use them, if only out of pride. Also? I’d rather spend the money on more shoes.

Speaking of that….did I mention the JT concert is tomorrow night? I can’t help but think this is the universe’s sick, twisted way of punishing me for breaking the online-shopping fast.

Point taken, universe.

If, by some miracle of orthopedics I’m even able to wear my  new shoes to the concert, I’ll most likely be limping around like a pirate on a peg leg. A fabulous, Sam Edelman peg leg….but a peg leg nonetheless.

Universe: If you want to make it up to me, perhaps you could align things so that Justin sees me hobbling about, assumes the worst, and invites me on-stage to perform an I-feel-sorry-for-you-serenade?

Just a suggestion.

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Who cares if they can sing?

Who cares if they can sing? 8

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As Taylor Swift’s 2010 karaoke-like duet with Stevie Nicks showed us all, The Grammy Awards  is less about actual vocal talent and more about…well…looking good and being famous.

With this in mind, I’m sure you’ll all understand if I skip over the actual musical aspect of “Music’s Biggest Night” and dive right into my snarky color commentary. Sound good? (Or at least better than that the Swift + Nicks catastrophe sounded?)

HIGH NOTES

Beyonce in Michael Costello

beyonce

All hail, Queen Bey! Mrs. Carter stole the show in this gorgeous frock by everyone’s favorite overly sensitive Project Runway alum.

I mean….I could pretty much end the blog post right here. This look is that perfect.

Taylor Swift In Gucci Premiere

taylor

I’m gonna be honest — T-Swift gets on my nerves in a major way, and for once, I’d love to see an epic red carpet fail from her. But there’s simply no denying how flawless this is. I wish I had an excuse (and a couple grand set aside) so I could wear this dress somewhere. A trip to the fanciest chain restaurant in all of Smalltown, perhaps?

Ciara in Emilio Pucci

ciara

This right here? This is how you do red carpet maternity wear. (Not with a crop tough...cough! Kerry Washington! cough!)

She looks stunning from every angle. This almost makes me want to get pregnant so I can go purchase fabulous maternity gown. Almost.

Amber Rose in Naeem Khan

amber

Va va voom! That’s what I call voluptuous glam. And let’s face it…Wiz Khalifa is always the best accessory.

Chrissy Teigen in Johanna Johnson

chrissy

Yes.

LOW NOTES

Ariana Grande in Dolce & Gabanna

ariana

“I’m so sorry, Miss Grande. This is the Grammy’s. The ‘Sophie Turns Seven!’ tea party had to be moved next door.”

Katy Perry in Valentino

katy

This look is so close to being spot on for me…but I can’t seem to get past her updo, which just feels matronly. Also? Sheet music on a skirt is kind of bizarre. Even if it is Valentino.

Bonnie McKee in Gustavo Cadile

bonnie

OMG…it’s Ariel!!!

(Now that she’s finally grown legs she should probably focus on hiring a better stylist.)

Paula Patton, designer unknown

paula

Sorry honey, but zebra stripes are not the new blurred lines.

Paris Hilton in Haus of Milani

paris

This is how the fashion gods punish overpriveledged socialites who try to copy Beyonce’s Grammy look.

 

SOUR NOTES

Madonna in Ralph Lauren Collection

madonna

There’s a lesson we can all learn from Madge’s ensemble: never allow your nine-year-old son to double as your stylist. (Although I must admit, her glove is totally fierce.)

Pharelle in a Vivienne Westwood hat

pharell

Sorry Vivienne, but he looks like the hip-hop version of Dudley Do Right from Rocky and Bullwinkle. 

Malina Moye, designer unknown

malina

The flames from Scott’s Super Bowl grease fire looked oddly similar to this dress. (And not in a good way.)

*******

What were your fave looks of the night? Anyone else have a vendetta towards T-Swift that may or may not spawn from a jealousy they’ll never find the courage to publicly admit?

(Can you blame me? Girl stole my last name! And Jake Gyllenhaal! That’s two strikes, Tay Tay.)

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