The following status update pretty much sums up the current state of affairs in the Taylor house.
I know what you’re thinking. “They got another animal?!?”
Yes. Yes, we did.
(In other words, after seven years of begging, pleading and forcing him to watch YouTube cat videos, I finally convinced Scott to adopt our own little Jinxy .)
His red hair and blue eyes obviously mean he’s Norwegian, which is why I’ve named him Lars. Turns out, the name suits him quite well–he’s essentially a badass Viking trapped in a cuddly kitten’s body. Allow me to explain:
- The dogs are terrified of him, despite the fact that he thinks they are his lesbian mothers.
- He goes on walks. Three mile walks. Without a leash. He meows the whole time, which led me to believe he wanted me to pick him up. Not the case. His vocal tendencies are less of a “give me attention” tactic and more of a high-pitched Norseman warrior cry.
- He doesn’t freak out when you give him a bath. Scott’s shampooed him twice–he just sat there and took it like a man.
- While the dogs nearly had heart attacks during a violent storm last week, Lars simply cleaned his paws. I think he assumed the gratuitous thunder was Thor’s way of scolding Jolie for eating all his cat food.
- When the girls attack him, he purrs, yawns and falls asleep. Yippy purse critters? Please.
- He east lutefisk.
- (Alright…I made that last one up. Let’s just say it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened.)
- He sleeps on top, under, or sprawled across Jolie and Penny. When they growl at this unsolicited snuggling he simply farts on them before nuzzling closer.
Naturally, Scott is absolutely smitten. The proud Papa won’t stop bragging about how he’s learning to use the toilet…at this rate, he’ll probably shed a tear when he catches his first mouse.
Our next project? Bringing him out on the boat. I mean…he is a viking, after all.