Day 21 of January Blog a Day: Create a mood board
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I’m going to be really upfront and let y’all know that I have a love hate relationship with mood boards.
(It’s okay for people who live in Minnesota to use the phrase “y’all”, right?)
Don’t get me wrong…I love creating a good mood board. I do it for design projects at work all the time (it’s a surprisingly helpful tool), and often find myself slapping together collections of images via Pinterest in my free time. The problem is, mood boards (the Pinterest ones, not the work ones) always let me down. They’re completely based in fantasy and never end up actually amounting to anything–they make me feel as if I’ve failed! Take the gorgeous multi-million dollar wedding mood board I created last year. In order for any of those beautiful mason jar centerpieces to actually come to fruition, I’d have to divorce Scott and then remarry someone who was willing to spend a hundred grand on exotic hydrangeas.
That’s way more trouble than I’m willing to go though. Plus, I kind of want to keep Scott around. (Also? Mason jars aren’t as economical as one would assume.)
So, now I’m going to have to get pregnant with a baby girl, raise her for twenty-something years and then hope that she likes mason jars and hydrangeas by the time she gets married.
And what happens if mason jars aren’t even cool in 2038???
You can see why mood boards stress me out.
So, in order to avoid an epic meltdown (or a mason jar-inspired pregnancy) I’ve decided to create a realistic mood board that accurately documents my daily life.
Prepare to be grossly underwhelmed.
1. Sweatpants – Not only are these an integral part of this blog’s tagline, they’re pretty much my daily uniform as I work from home. Also, an elastic waistband is extremely gentle on one’s self-esteem.
2. Cashews – Much like mood boards, I have a love hate relationship with cashews and all other members of the nut family. They are easily my favorite food, but I eat way too many of them. I suspect this is the reason that I haven’t actually lost any weight in my first month of veganism. Again…this is where those sweatpants come in handy.
3. Chuck Bass – Although Gossip Girl is now a CW relic of the past, I feel Chuck’s presence with me daily–despite never having actually met him. I like to think of him as my British celebrity spirit guide. I often times find myself asking things like “What would Chuck Bass think of this decision I’m making?” “Would Chuck Bass approve of this outfit?” “What would Chuck say to this extremely slow cashier at Super Wal-Mart?” Sure, “Mother Chucker” may not be the best moral compass…but at least I’m not turning to Dan Humphrey for advice.
4. Aquage Sea Salt Spray – My hair is not straight, nor is it curly. I would say its natural texture could be described as “homeless person”. Since introducing this stuff into my beauty regime, I’ve cut my hair styling time in half, without looking like a dirty hippie as a result. (No offense, Vanessa Hudgens.)
5. Coffee — I’m a Scandinavian who hails from Seattle, so I suppose this shouldn’t surprise me. Still…sometimes the amount of coffee I can consume over twenty-four hours frightens me. A few weeks ago I downed two shots of espresso at 9:30pm and fell right asleep. That’s a bad sign, right?
6. Scott — Scott has all of the good parts of Chuck Bass (he isn’t afraid to wear a bow tie and has impeccably styled hair), without any of the bad parts (a history with prostitutes and a drug habit). While he’s not a millionaire Manhattan mogul like Mr. Bass, he does make me pizza from scratch and could totally take Chuck in a wrestling match. I’m pretty lucky he’s chosen to go through life with me by his side. (Translation? I lurrrve him.)
7. Photoshop — As a web designer, I spend the majority of my day working in Photoshop. When work is done, I use the program to whiten my teeth and cinch in my waist before uploading photos of myself to Facebook. Truly, computer software doesn’t get much more versatile than that.
8. IKEA — Our entire apartment is furnished with products from this place. We literally live in an IKEA showroom, minus the cafeteria meatballs. While I used to think this was really cool, I now realize it means we don’t make enough money (or have a nice enough place) to buy real furniture. Still, it’s part of my life and I’m owning it. (On the bright side, I’ve learned a black Sharpie marker works great for covering up dings and scrapes in the cheap wood veneers that literally cover every flat surface in our apartment.)
9. Deer Heads — Upon moving to Minnesota, I have become obsessed with all things deer head. If I see a deer head, I will buy it. (Unless it’s a real one. That’s just gross. Also? You can’t bedazzle over fur. I’ve tried.)
10. My Keyboard — I spend every weeknight evening typing up a post for this blog. Keyboard and me are like this. And I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I’m actually a highly proficient typist. Like, if I was living in Mad Men days, Don Draper would hire me as a secretary on the spot (despite the fact that I wouldn’t get romantically involved with him) because I can type so freaking fast. Thank you, Franklin Pierce High School sophomore typing class!
11. Target — If Target were a person, I may consider becoming a polygamist and letting Scott and Target be “brother husbands” simply so I could marry that store and finally have my mason jar hydrangea wedding. I love Target that much.
12. Sneakers – First things first…is it “tennis shoes” or “sneakers”? I grew up calling them tennis shoes, until I moved to New York and everyone made fun of me, or assumed I was a skilled tennis player. (I’m not. Unless owning three tennis skirts automatically makes me skilled.)
I put these on here because I love to work out and became a fitness instructor nearly three years ago just for the fun of it. (And…you know…to cancel out all those stupid cashews.)
12. Jolie — If you combine my love of Target, cashews and coffee and then multiply it by 1,000, it might equal the love I have for this dog. Maybe.
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Can I just say that creating a realistic mood board has actually made me feel better about my life? Lets face it…Sweatpants + Scott and Jolie + the ability to mask my crow’s-feet in Photoshop means I must be doing something right.
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