Math for the real world

Math for the real world 3

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I’ve never been much of a math person, but am venturing out of my comfort zone for today’s post and crunching a few numbers pieces of clip art for all you intellectual types who frequent this blog.

Who can guess which equation represents my weekend plans?

math

See? I’m TOTALLY smart at math!

The correct answer?

All of the above!

Scott and I have planned a weekend getaway to Des Moines with some good friends from college.

(And yes…Des Moines is totally a getaway. Duh.)

(Particularly when there’s pancakes and Rum Chata involved.)

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The lipstick stalker

The lipstick stalker 4

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You know that blissful feeling of discovering a blog, and instantly falling in love? You scroll through the archives, take in all the content you can, learn as much as possible about the blogger and catch up on all the exciting content you’ve been missing out on. Naturally, you follow them on Twitter and Instagram, like their site on Facebook and subscribe to them via your blog reader of choice. Their site is the first one you check in the morning…and when you see a new post has been published, you feel your heart skip a beat.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet my newest blog crush.

helena

Helena from Brooklyn Blonde

I briefly mentioned Helena in Tuesday’s post about how a trip to Brooklyn inspired me to make some life changes. A highlight of my weekend in NYC was taking in all the effortlessly edgy street fashion. The minute I returned to ‘Sota I found myself Googling “Brooklyn Style Blog” so I might continue to gaze longingly at trendy fashion eye candy straight out of my favorite borough. Helena’s blog ended up being the top search result.

The past three days have been a giant blur of obsessively devouring the Brooklyn Blonde archives, creating an inventory of what items I need to add to my wardrobe, and browsing ShopBop.com while asking myself “What would Helena buy?” I may have even attempted to purchase duplicates of a few of the items (cough! cough! military jacket! cough!) Helena features on her site.

And then I realized the ‘ish she wears is expensive.

Real expensive.

Fortunately, Helena also shares the different types of makeup she wears, which are much more conducive to my Minnesota budget. While I can’t afford her adorable Chanel bag or classic black Louboutins, possessing every single shade of lipstick she wears is surely the next best thing, right?

This is the reasoning that led me to purchase five new tubes of lip color this week.

Yup. Five.

That’s not creepy, right?

Alright…maybe these side-by-side photos I’m about to show are a little bit creepy. Helena…if you’re reading this, please rest assured that I am not some crazy stalker. I’m simply a makeup-loving, fashion-forward female who appreciates good style and adores your lips.

Uh…I think that may have come out wrong.

1. MAC Candy-Yum-Yum lipstick

candy-yum-yum

I’m a sucker for a statement lip, and this color from MAC did not disappoint. The only downside? It kind of makes my teeth look yellow. Looks like it’s time for a secret rendezvous with my Crest White Strips!

I made the mistake of forgetting to wash this stuff off before Turbo Kick class last night. While it looks fabulous with a stylish outfit, pairing it with workout clothes and a messy ponytail looks a little…well…1980s cray cray. (Lesson learned the hard way.)

2. MAC Ruby Woo lipstick

ruby-woo

This one might be my absolute favorite. It’s a red with just a pinch of yellow/orange undertones, which makes it perfect for day time. Bonus points for making my teeth look somewhat white-ish! It’s my new go-to shade, and I’m currently working up the balls to wear it on during a video conference tomorrow.

3. Maybelline Color Sensational Lipcolor in Coral Crush

coral-crush

I’ve got to say — for a cheap drugstore brand, this stuff stays put for hours. It’s a little bit dry, but if you pair it with some gloss or chapstick, application is much easier. I’m really loving the orangey-coral shade as a fun alternative to neutral lips.

4. MAC Russian Red lipstick

russian-red

This red is slightly darker/more blue-toned than Ruby Woo, and is perfect for evenings out. Again, it’s a super flattering shade, and makes those pearly whites look like they are fresh out of the bleaching tray. Hesitant to drop fifteen bones on a tube of lipstick? So was I…but Brooklyn Blonde has made me a believer! This stuff goes on so smoothly, lasts for hours, and requires zero lip liner. Trust me — you’ll be addicted after one application.

5. MAC Twig lipstick

twig

So…this one isn’t an official Brooklyn Blonde color, but while I was haphazardly adding tubes of Mac lipstick to my cart, this one kept coming up as a recommended item. The color had nearly 300 5-star reviews, and I figured if I was already spending over fifty bucks on lip color, what harm could just one extra tube possibly cause? I’m so delighted I decided to go for it. It’s a beautiful neutral color that is perfect for the days where you simply don’t feel like having people stare at your Technicolor lips and wonder if you’re mentally stable.

Because I’m currently saturating my pucker with lots of pigment, I figured it was time to take it easy on the peepers and save my signature smokey eyes for days when I go with a more subdued lip color. Consequentially, I’ve only been wearing mascara. And ladies, have I found a mascara for you! While shopping at Nordy’s a few months ago, I was given a sample of Chanel mascara that basically changed my life. Alright…’changed my life’ may be a bit of an exaggeration, but trust me, the stuff is nothing short of miraculous. I recently ordered a full-size tube and couldn’t be happier with my investment. While I never imagined spending thirty dollarss on something as accessible as mascara, I also never thought I’d own anything by Chanel. Needless to say, my lashes feel quite fancy and have been blinking with a little extra ‘tude now that they’re coated in designer cosmetics.

So, there you have it. I’m officially coming clean as a lipstick stalker. I swear I’m not dangerous or cause for alarm. I’m simply a lost soul of the internet who allows my blog crushes to manifest in online cosmetic shopping sprees.

Uh…that’s totally healthy and normal…right?

 

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Yeah…I don’t know what I was thinking, either.

Yeah…I don’t know what I was thinking, either. 5

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Actually, I do know what I was thinking. It was something along the lines of “Well…now that my office/guest room is redecorated in yellow, I should probably paint Sheila to match!”

Unfortunately, I now know from personal experience that a yellow nude plastic torso is the only thing worse than a flesh-colored nude plastic torso. I somehow thought I could save the situation by covering her lady lumps with a faux fur stole and giant silk flower. Surely, this would class things up a bit!

Ultimately, it just made Sheila look like a Real Housewife of New Jersey with a severe case of jaundice…but at least I gave it the old college try?

old-yeller

I’m officially changing her name to “Old Yeller”

Scott’s response?

“Katrina! You should have painted her gold.”

Is it just me, or would metallic gold craft paint make this entire disaster that much worse?

(Looks like Scott and I will never be the new John and Sherry from YHL.)

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Less is more

Less is more 2

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Praying for peace and healing for the people of Boston, and all those affected by yesterday’s tragic events. Here’s a great resource for how we can help the victims of the senseless act of hate.

********

My recent weekend in Brooklyn inspired me to embrace a couple of new initiatives.

1. Walk more

Clearly, this is easier said than done when one lives in a small, Midwestern town where people look at you funny for walking in public. Still, I’m going to work on adding a few more steps to my daily total.

Confession: I used to wear a FitBit, which boasts a pretty amazing pedometer feature, but took it off as it was making me depressed. Working from home means days with fewer than 200 steps are a common occurrence, and I grew tired of a tiny digital activity monitor being all snarky about me being a lazy pants.

While walking to appointments and events in Smalltown may not be the easiest feat, I’m going to try my best. (Once all this god-awful snow melts, that is.)

 

2. Be less fussy

Everyone in Brooklyn has amazing style. The most aspirational aspect of their look? They all appear as if they aren’t even trying! Brooklynites possess this cool, casual vibe that seems so incredibly effortless. Then there’s me, who’s stumbling around like a baby cellulite-giraffe in her four-inch heels, constricting mini skirt and overly hair-sprayed sock bun.

I’ll give you one guess as to which “look” came across as more stylish.

brooklyn-blonde

Image via Brooklyn Blonde

A weekend walking the streets of Park Slope showed me that high fashion doesn’t always equal high heels. Sometimes, an easy, casual and comfortable ensemble is much more hip and on trend than a ridiculous dress or pair of liquid leggings. My life in Smalltown is much more conducive to laid-back attire, and I’m going to try to adopt the casual cool countenance I observed in Brooklyn.

And yes, this totally means I’ll be investing in more hipster wear.

 

3. Own less stuff

This was easily the most important takeaway from the weekend in Brooklyn. Obviously, New York apartments aren’t the most spacious living quarters in the world. A life in the Big Apple must be efficient and organized…there simply isn’t room for six boxes of Christmas decorations or 300 pairs of shoes.

(Unless you’re SJP…in which case, why the heck are you reading this blog?!? I mean, I’m flattered and all, but shouldn’t you be drinking Bellini’s at Bergdorf’s and spending 20,000 on a sofa while your au pair teaches Tabitha and Marion how to say “Are those chicken nuggets free-range?” in French or something? )

I must say that I’m generally a pretty minimal person. And Scott? He’s even more extreme than I am. I’m assuming this is due to both being raised by semi-hoarders* with an affinity for knickknacks and other useless paraphernalia. Scott and I joke that the decorative theme of both our childhood homes is “stuff”.

Today, we both take pride in having a home that is relatively clutter-free and streamlined. The same goes for our garage, our vehicle…even our “junk” closet.  It’s certainly helped that we’ve moved five times over the last seven years, which I believe is the best way to ensure you’re regularly getting rid of items you don’t need. Still, there’s one area where I may be a tad bit hypocritical in regards to my minimalism.

My closet.

Fine. My closets.

(Yup. I’ve taken over the guest room closet, too. It’s dedicated to cocktail dresses and ski pants.)

While I reside in the land of homes with eight bedrooms and walk-in closets that are larger than a Manhattan studio, there’s no reason I need to fill these mammoth closets with hundreds of garments I may or may not ever wear. My love of clothes (not to mention addiction to online shopping) has recently created a closet that could at best be described as ‘bursting at the seams’. Owning so many articles of clothing is completely unnecessary and a tremendous waste of money. And let’s face it — there’s nothing worse than having a closet full of clothes yet feeling like you have absolutely nothing to wear. Scott’s been harping on me for months to get my clothing addiction under control, and this trip to Brooklyn was just what the doctor ordered.

I returned to ‘Sota with a renewed sense of motivation. The time had come to trim down my wardrobe– reducing it to a much smaller collection–pieces I adore that can be mixed and matched to create fabulous, practical outfits that fit my lifestyle.

Last weekend, I put my money where my mouth is.

Sheila looks on in approval at a small percentage of the items I donated this weekend.

Sheila looks on in approval at a small percentage of the items I eliminated.

It took several hours, and lots of trying on, but I was eventually able to sell no less than 108 items to the local consignment shop. I’ve worked with them twice before, and have collected over $300 dollars for my unwanted items as a result. I’m hoping this larger-than-life haul of stuff will bring in an extra $400…but I’m honestly just happy to have the extra breathing room in my dresser and closet.

I’m also proud to say that I donated 98 additional items to a neighborhood thrift store that supports victims of domestic violence. It was deeply satisfying to support a great cause while also de-cluttering my apartment and simplifying my life.

In addition to getting rid of nearly half of my clothing collection, I’m re-reading A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style by Tim Gunn. It’s a fabulous book that teaches readers how to dress, shop, pick a fashion mentor, and maintain fabulous personal style all without having a closet capable of producing a deadly avalanche of sweaters. Tim’s less is more approach encourages readers to ‘make it work!’ without compromising one’s inner-fashionista. It’s a great reminder that a simple closet with fewer options can still produce a modern, chic wardrobe.

My cleaned out closet has made me feel light and carefree–as if a weight made of faux fur collars pastel leather jackets has been lifted off my shoulders!

But don’t’ worry. I still have 18 cocktail dresses, my Kate Middleton-inspired Easter bonnet, and the spiked shoes I nearly killed for.

I’m not that Brooklyn, you guys!

*******

*Someone who has a hoarding problem, but isn’t bad enough to be featured on the TV show. (At least not yet.)

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