Okay…so technically he’s less of a “friend” and more of a “goose”.
A goose that just so happens to sit in the field in front of our condo, day after day.
Despite the fact that there are quite literally hundreds of other geese within a half mile radius of his territory.
I’ve named him Gilbert.
Because “Gilbert the Goose” just sounds right.
And also because I imagine his voice sounds similar to that of Gilbert Gottfried.
I’ve considered adopting him, but fear it would be slightly difficult to litterbox train him.
Even if I did somehow manage to get him to poop in a box, one of Jolie’s favorite pastimes is rolling her face, neck and back in fresh, moist goose poop.
Plus, I think it would be nearly impossible to find a leash small enough to fit around his neck.
Also? I’m absolutely terrified of flapping wings.
It would never work out.
Yet I can’t help but think how Gilbert and I have so much in common.
He’s surrounded by hundreds of other geese, yet he somehow remains in solitude.
Maybe he likes being a loner.
Or maybe he just hasn’t found the courage to go ask those other geese if they’d like to be his friend.
Or maybe the other geese saw him dancing to that Britney Spears song when it came on the loud speaker at the supermarket and have socially blackballed him as a result.
Just to be clear, we’re still talking about Gilbert here.
Whatever the reason, Gilbert is surrounded by geese that are like him, but still flies solo.
This has gone on for nearly two months.
I can’t help but to see a little bit of myself in the lone goose I walk past every day.
Much like Gilbert, I find myself in a new place, surrounded by tons of geese that are just like me.
But aside from a husband who has had to work ninety minutes away for the last month, and a seven-pound Chipin with a body odor problem, I too have been flying solo.
Don’t worry…I am so not feeling sorry for myself. I’ve just been traveling so much lately (I’m in South America right now) that I haven’t had time to put myself out there and start making friends. I am most certainly not afraid to meet new people. In fact, our recent move to Minnesota marks the fourth time I’ve relocated to a new place and have had to set up a new social circle. Trust me…I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.
But until I do put myself out there, I can’t help but smile every time I see Gilbert, and realize that in a way, we are kindred spirits.
And you know what? Gilbert and I also have hope.
Hope because it’s actually possible to walk a goose on a leash.
Now I just need to get over my fear of bird wings, and I’ll be well on my way to having a brand new walking partner/BFF.
“Best Feathered Friend”, in case you’re wondering.
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