I had to laugh when I came across this “breaking news” in my daily Us Weekly email newsletter last week.
Photo via Us Weekly
Really, Us Weekly? This is your leading headline?
It seems quasi-ridiculous that celebrities leaving the house without their faces on is “news”. And yes, I realize this is ironic coming from a girl who blogs about totally non-ridiculous things like her dog’s sex life. Although I would argue that Jolie’s adventures in dating are slightly more relevant than Ms. Heigl without her mascara on.
Upon seeing the above photo of Katherine, I couldn’t help but think of my favorite alcoholic gal pals, Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb from The Today Show. Remember when they did their entire segment without makeup on?
Photo via The Today Show
I loved it. I mean, how could you not?
It was refreshing.
It was ballsy.
It was real.
It was basically everything my default profile pic is not.
Not only was this image taken by a professional photographer; I’m also wearing hair extensions, false eyelashes, and approximately three pounds of foundation.
Alright, alright…four pounds.
I also may have gone into Photoshop and done a little bit of extra “retouching”.
What? It’s not like I’m about to pay $40,000 for a graduate degree and then not use the skill sets acquired to whiten my teeth and airbrush my blemishes away. Get serious.
I’m obviously a girlie-girl who loves cosmetics, but I’ve also been known to frequently leave the house without a stitch of makeup on. This leaves me looking pretty much unrecognizable, not to mention at least ten years younger.
But I do have one rule. I always wear makeup to work.
Not because I’m lacking confidence, or think wearing mascara will get me promoted.
I simply do it to avoid awkward situations. You see, the few times I’ve shown up to the office sans-makeup, everyone asks if I’m sick.
There’s really no graceful way to answer to this question. If I tell the truth and say “No, I’m just not wearing makeup today.”, I’ve made them feel embarrassed and flustered for unintentionally pointing out my lack of natural beauty.
If I lie and say “Yes…I feel awful. I don’t know what’s come over me!?” they’re upset that I’ve exposed them to whatever has caused me to look so morose.
So, I bite the bullet and always put my face on for work. It just makes things more pleasant for everyone.
Although I’m now working from home, this rule is still in effect — and for good reason. Today, I decided to skip the foundation and only applied lip gloss and eye makeup.
Little did I know it would be a somewhat stressful work day, which ended in a video chat where I looked like I had just finished crying.
In all reality, my nose and eyes were just extremely red due to my decision to skip the concealer. Perhaps I should have mentioned this as I’m quite positive all my coworkers assumed they had literally driven me to tears.
The fact that the first thing out of Scott’s mouth when he walked in the door was “Have you been crying?” confirmed this assumption.
But at the end of the day…I don’t really care. I can accept the fact that without cosmetic assistance, my look is a little bit plain.
My dad always harps on me for wearing too much makeup, telling me I look like a “streetwalker ” or “painted hussie”.
Instead of getting offended, I simply explain to him that going bare-faced actually makes me look more like a strung-out junkie. I’m not applying lip gloss and tinted moisturizer out of vanity. I’m doing it so the local police don’t mistake me for someone they saw on last night’s episode of Intervention.
Don’t worry–I’m not on drugs. Unless ice cream is now considered an illegal substance.
But I digress. The point of this post is that confidence is more important than makeup any day of the week.
Sure, my Norwegian heritage has robbed me of any visible eyebrows and eyelashes.
Is my Scandinavian skin red, shiny and covered with freckles? Ya, sure you betcha!
And yes, I have some pretty major crows feet.
But at the end of the day, I still really like myself.
Take that, Us Weekly.