I’m gonna cut you 0
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At Camp Do More 2012, I was given a swag bag containing a variety of fabulous Turbo Kick gifts and goodies.
I was also given a leftover t-shirt circa 2005 that was…well…a tad bit large.
No…my bed is not made in the above photo. I also chose not to wash my hair and had three gargantuan bowls of granola with a side of maple pork sausage for breakfast. It was just one of those days.
Instead of seeing a Men’s Large t-shirt that I was probably never going to wear, I saw potential.
In the land of Turbo Kick, t-shirt cutting is practically an Olympic event. My friend Courtney can transform something from the Wal-Mart clearance section into a piece of haute couture workout wear with nothing but a pair of scissor and a little imagination. At Turbo camp, there are entire parties dedicated to nothing but t-shirt shredding. Styling this shirt with a pair of shears was more than just a way to salvage the top, it was practically my Turbo Kicking duty.
I begun my religious t-shirt cutting pilgrimage by trolling the internet for inspiration. I then realized there were several video tutorials on how to properly cut a t-shirt. YouTube has an entire channel dedicated to the subject!
Unfortunately, most of the videos are at least ten minutes long. And really, who has time for that? Not this girl…I’m busy with more important matters.
(Like eating massive amounts granola and maple pork sausage.)
(What? It’s not like you can expect me to do Turbo Kick without any fuel.)
So, I skipped the online tutorials and just started cutting.
And cutting…
…and cutting.
The end result was less “trendy urban t-shirt” and more “chubby white J-Lo meets modern-day pirate wench”.
At least the bed is made and my hair is washed…? (No comment on what I scarfed down for breakfast.)
So there you have it — how to ruin a perfectly good article of clothing in just a few simple steps. If this horrible t-shirt massacre has taught us anything, it’s that one should always take the extra time to follow directions.
(And that white sweatpants on a grown woman are never a good idea.)
On the bright side, at least I’ll now be cleaning the bathroom in style.
Jab cross hook scrub.
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