Guess where I am right now… ¹

by Katrina • Adventures, Travel • Tags: Mexico, Vacation

I’ll give you a hint: It starts with an “M” and ends with an “exico”.

Yeah…I never was very subtle.

We’re with Scott’s family in Riviera Maya celebrating two birthdays — Scott’s 30th and his Mom’s 60th!

I’m sure I’ll have a slew of stories to share with you as soon as I’m back –but  in the mean time, I wanted to set some vacation goals.

And yes, I absolutely set goals for my vacation.

Because I’m ambitious. 

(But mostly because I didn’t really know what else to write about.)

I thought it would be fun to spell my goals out — one for each letter of M-E-X-I-C-O. Creative, right? Okay…maybe it’s not creative. But at 8:00 pm on a Monday evening, it’s all I’ve got.

Aside from a glass of Shiraz that is seriously inhibiting my typing skills.

fjkld;ajfkd;afjd

Told you.

 

M is for Margaritas

And mojitos. And Merlot. Basically, I’m really thirsty, and plan to capitalize on the all-inclusive aspect of our trip.

 

E is for Exercise

The goal is to work out every morning. It sets the tone for the day and makes me feel less guilty about escaping the heat of the afternoon sun by pounding cheesecake inside the 24-hour, air-conditioned buffet.

 

X is for Xylocarp

Bet you didn’t think I’d come up with one for X, did you?

A Xylocarp is a defined as “a fruit, such as a coconut, having a hard woody pericarp”. And a pericarp is defined as “the walls of a ripened ovary or fruit”. Funny, I never knew coconuts even had ovaries. Do you think they also have fallopian tubes?

Anyway, I think if I drink an artificially flavored pina colada, I should be covered in the xylocarp department. Naturally, I’ll ask the bartender to hold the ovaries.

(Side note: If you already knew what xylocarp meant, you’re probably way too smart to be reading this blog. Just saying.)

 

I is for “I can’t believe she’s actually wearing that” 

Take my word for it. The Katrina fashion is going to be ridiculous. Like, I-may-or-may-not-have-bought-a-Carrie-Bradshaw-inspired-turban-at-Nordstrom ridiculous.

I assure you, there will be photos.

 

C is for confidence

So…I kind of got fat.

Actually, I take that back. One of my pet peeves is when people who are not fat say they are fat. I realize that I am not overweight in the slightest. But I have put on twenty pounds since moving to the land of cheese curds and supper clubs, and my lower half kind of looks like it’s made of tapioca pudding that really likes to dance when I walk.

Sorry for the visual, but I assure you, it’s extremely accurate.

Anyway, I’ve decided I don’t really care. What’s the point of spending all that money on a vacation if you feel self-conscious the whole time, right?

The group exercise studio I teach at has printed out motivational phrases posted all over the walls. One of them is “I’d rather be covered in sweat at the gym than clothes at the beach.” I actually really like that saying, but for this vacation, I’m changing it to the following:

“I’d rather be covered in tapioca at the beach than eating a salad at the snack shack while everyone else orders quesadillas and oh my gosh they smell delicious can I please have just a tiny bite?!?”

 

Translation? I’m going to rock my love handles.

 

O is for Octopus

We’re going snorkeling and I desperately want to see one.

As soon as I typed this, I realized that there might not actually be any octopi in Mexico. So, I went ahead Googled it.

I probably shouldn’t have done that as now, I’m positively terrified that I’m going to be eaten Steve Irwin-style bit a giant Mexican squid. Thanks a lot, Google.

On the bright side, I don’t think squid or octopi have a taste for tapioca, so at least there’s that.

*****

As soon as I’m back, I’ll update you on how I did with each of these aspirations.

As long as I’m not eaten by a family of octopi, that is.

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