Don’t be a drag, just be a queen ²

by Katrina • Fashion • Tags: Gifts from my Dad, Tacoma

A blue dress, fake hair and 22 princesses.

What could these three things possibly have in common?

You guessed it…it’s time for another episode of Gifts from Katrina’s Dad!

OK, so technically this is the first episode, but not to worry, there will be many more to come.

It is my hope that through examining the random objects my father bestows on me every month or so, we all might begin to understand the enigma that is Mark.

And I do not use the word enigma lightly.

I suppose I’m just a confused daughter in search of answers to the questions that have eluded me for so long.

Like why exactly did he think it was a good idea to give John Wayne a lecture on cat urine?

Was it really necessary to compete in and win the 1972 Miss Wild Turkey Pageant? (I’ve heard rumors that a leash was involved.)

And how exactly does he stay so tan?

Believe me, this is just the beginning.

When he picked Scott and I up from the airport last week, he presented me with this Market Place bag full of goodies.

Mark never spends money on gift wrap.

Mark also usually doesn’t spend a lot money on the actual gifts. Often times, the items come from the Salvation Army or a garage sale. Unless it’s jewelry, in which case it’s almost always from a street fair.

Mark loves bad street fair accessories. I have vivid memories of him taking me to Harley’s Hippie Hut (a real store just for hippies!) in Parkland when I was eleven to pick out mood rings. My mother found out about our trips to the hut and threw a fit, as there was a rumor that Harley sold drugs in the back room.

I’m guessing that’s the reason the shop was swiftly replaced by a Mexican grocery store.

I promise we were just there for the mood rings.

The one place Mark really loves to shop is the Goodwill. It’s his holy land.

A few months ago my mother started to worry when dad was a couple of hours late coming home. She called his cellphone, which he groggily answered, explaining he fallen asleep.

On a sofa that was for sale at the Goodwill.

For two hours.

Oh, Mark.

As a child, I spent countless hours with Mark at the Spanaway Goodwill perusing the aisles for deals. I’ve memorized every last detail of that place. The instant I pulled this baby out of the grocery sack and the familiar scent of cigarette smoke, moth balls and grape kool-aid gently wafted to my nose I knew exactly where it had come from.

It’s a Bisou Bisou dress, circa 1991, I’m guessing.

Well, at least he tried.

The funny thing is that Mark sometimes tells me I look like a “streetwalker” when I wear something he deems inappropriate.

I’m not sure this dress is helping his cause.

Did you notice anything different in the above photo? I was delighted when next thing to come out of the bag was this:

I ordered this Ken Paves for Jessica Simpson hairpiece from a warehouse in the Bronx via eBay in 2007 to wear for my wedding.

Because truthfully, what’s a wedding if the bride isn’t wearing synthetic hair from the land of J-Lo?

The hair was actually quite expensive and disappeared into the Bermuda Triangle that is Mark’s garage after the wedding. I’ve been begging him to find it for the last four years in hopes that I might be able to wear it again.

Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to be happening anytime soon as it doesn’t um…blend so well now.

But where do the princesses fit in, you ask?

Included with these gifts was a full-page spread from the Tacoma News Tribune my dad had saved for me, which included these head shots.

Aren’t they beautiful? Unfortunately, I don’t have a photo of the actual newspaper clipping as Scott threw it away before I could snag a snapshot.

You see, he kept having to explain why he was hiding photos of princesses in the trunk of our car and didn’t want people to think he was…you know…creepy or anything.

Really, all he would have needed to do was explain that he is lucky enough to be married to the 2002 Daffodil Queen, and as a result, has a vested interest in all future Daffodil Festival coverage.

In all seriousness, the Daffodil Festival is one of the richest traditions in the Tacoma/Puyallup area and one of my most treasured memories. If you’re interested in donating to an organization that provides over $50,000 in scholarship money to some very deserving Pierce County high school seniors, you can do so here.

I’m really hoping Jolie might have a shot at the title one day…

I decided to text my dad a thank you photo of my new outfit as I truly am grateful that he took the time to pick out a dress for me. Even if we have slightly…um… differing tastes in fashion, he’s pretty much the coolest dad ever.

I mistakenly sent this to a different contact named Mark on the first try. Awkward.

Dad’s response once the photo finally arrived?

“Well, you’re no Miss Wild Turkey 1972.”

I think I’ll take that as a compliment.

I’m really looking forward to seeing what surprises Mark digs up for me next.

I’m just hoping there’s not a repeat of the 2010 body stocking incident.

I wish I was joking.

Love you, Dad

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