Confidence versus Delusion 3
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“Everyone is staring at you.” Scott murmured as we walked through the parking lot of our gym. A slow grin spread across my face as I started to walk just a little bit taller.
“Not in a good way, Katrina.” he elaborated.
Naturally, he was referring to my choice of outfit.
Dare I say it, this ensemble is OFF THE CHAIN. Or is it the hook? Or heezy?? Does off the heezy sound right? Can someone PLEASE clarify whether it’s a chain, a hook, or a heezy? (And also tell me exactly what a “heezy” is?)
Correct me if I’m wrong, but is this not the type of get-up that one would wear when teaching a hip hop dance class?
Thank you.
Ultimately, Scott failed to see the validity in this argument.
“Katrina…you live in rural Minnesota and teach a ghetto Zumba class. Can’t you just dress normal?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa…It is not ghetto Zumba…it is Hip Hop Hustle. And yes, I realize this outfit is a tad bit over the top–but it makes class fun. You know? Dressing like this helps to create a party atmosphere. I’m just having a good time with it.” I hopped into the car, buckled my seatbelt, and tilted my hat to the side with an air of stubborn confidence.
“This is like an America’s Best Dance Crew episode in the middle of a cornfield.” Scott muttered, ” I mean, seriously…that hat is ridiculous. I can’t believe you actually paid money for that thing.”
A) I didn’t pay anything for it — it came in my Camp Do More swag bag. B) It’s not ridiculous…it’s RIDONCULOUS.
“Oh yeah…?” I challenged, “Well someone in class told me it looked exactly like something Justin Bieber would wear.”
“That is exactly why you shouldn’t be wearing it!” he steamed.
I was about to argue that it was exactly the reason I should be wearing it, but realized we were almost to Target. Simply taking if off would drastically improve my odds of scoring a box of my favorite protein bars. Removing the hat, I stepped into the Target parking lot with some serious hat hair, assuring myself The Biebs would forgive me for such a transgression.
“You know Katrina, I like it when you just wear your fitted capri pants with a Lululemon top and one of your headbands. That’s a look you can actually pull off.”
“You know what, Scott? I can pull off any look I want. As long as I wear it with confidence and act like I’m pulling it off, people will believe I’m pulling it off. It’s as simple as that. I get that you aren’t a fan of my workout wear, but it’s what I like and it makes me feel good. Thanks for sharing your opinion, but ultimately, it’s up to me and doesn’t really affect you at all.”
“Oh, it affects me.” he argued while rolling his eyes at the abandoned hat in the foot well, “I’ve been involuntary roped into a love triangle involving an obnoxiously large trucker hat.”
I couldn’t help but giggle.
“You know…a lot of people would kill to be married to a Justin Bieber look-alike.” I suggested.
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Thirty minutes later, we had nestled into the sofa for a date with the Women’s Olympic Swimming finals. Yes, I was able to score a box of my fancy protein bars, and yes, the trucker hat was back on. While watching the competitors prepare for their race, I noticed something strange about one of the European swimmers.
“Ewww!” I screeched, “She totally has a ton of armpit stubble! You think she would have shaved it, knowing she was going to be broadcast in HD around the world and all.”
Scott simply responded with “I actually like a little bit of armpit stubble.”
This was certainly news to me.
“Seriously?” I asked incredulously. “You like female armpit stubble?”
“Yeah.” he shrugged. “I mean…it shows that she’s comfortable in her own skin. I’m attracted to a woman who is confident enough to do her thing and not care what everyone else thinks.”
“Oh really??” I said, pointing to my trucker hat. “Then why can’t you admire my confidence to wear ghetto fabulous street wear despite the fact that we live in the land of white people who bake casseroles???”
“Katrina,” he explained, “There’s a major difference between being confident, and being delusional.”
I rolled my eyes and reached for a protein bar. Whether he likes to admit it or not, trucker hats are totally the new armpit stubble.
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Aug 03, 2012 @ 06:24:48
Love the outfit!
Sep 12, 2012 @ 13:45:29
There’s also a major difference between being confident and racist.
From what I have read of your blog, I think you are a good person and mean well. However, I think you should really consider reading this article and enlighten yourself as to how your clothing and language could be percieved is mocking and damaging.
http://www.xojane.com/issues/casual-racism-matt-lauer-indian-giver
Sep 12, 2012 @ 15:03:22
Thanks for the comment and link to the article. You are correct that I DID mean well when writing this story, and am truly sorry if the images/language I used came off as offense or derogatory.
And yes, it did occur to me before I published this post that my message might be taken as racist. After a lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to publish. Here were my reasons:
1. I felt my message was addressing hip hop culture as opposed to a specific race. While hip hop culture is commonly associated with African American culture, I didn’t feel my comments about the slang, clothing, etc. were directed towards a specific ethnic group. I identify with Hip Hop — it’s my favorite genre of music, and I’ve been studying hip hop dance for years. I guess this made me feel that I was “a part” of the culture enough to poke fun not only at hip hop, but also at myself.
2. I felt the message was more about location as opposed to race. In an urban area, my outfit wouldn’t have been very unusual. But in Minnesota? I stood out like a sore thumb. Sure, this has a lot to do with the fact that there is less cultural diversity in the area I live in, but I felt I was talking less about skin color and more about geographic location.
3. I actually wear these clothes to my hip hop class. Every single week. If this was a one-time outfit I had posed in for the sake of a blog post, then yes, I would argue that my choice of clothing could be considered mocking. But these are ensembles I choose to wear because I like them, and because I feel like they help set a fun atmosphere in my classes. I don’t feel the fact that I wear these clothes is racist, so I didn’t think snapping photos of them would be racist either.
So, that was my reasoning. You might agree or disagree, and I know when it comes to casual racism there is a TON of grey area. Everyone is different, and while I might interpret something as completely unoffensive, others may find the opposite to be true. I just wanted to explain that the thought of coming across as racist did cross my mind, and the reasons/intentions I’ve listed above were what influenced me to ultimately publish the post. I truly had good intentions and didn’t mean to come across as hurtful or distasteful.
All that being said, I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to not only read this blog, but to bring something to my attention that you had a problem with. I’d also like to know your thoughts on the reasons that made me decide to move forward with this post. I realize there could be huge holes in my arguments largely in part due to the fact that as a White, American female, I’ve never really faced discrimination. I’m interested in starting a conversation and hearing more of your thoughts.