Prancercise is the new Turbo Kick ¹

A few hours ago, my good friend Rachael tagged me in the following Facebook post.

I was delighted and flattered. A fitness video made Rachael think of me? Picture me blushing, gazing down at the grown while awkwardly shuffling my feet and murmuring ‘Aw, shucks’.

Alright, fine. Picture me doing a cart-wheel while screaming ‘I am the fitness CHAMPION!!!!!’ and then immediately watching the video.

While some might feel offended at being the first person who came to mind after watching a Prancercise video, I was completely over the moon. I think you’ll see why after viewing this sheer display of swagger and coordination yourself.

In case you’re unable to view video at the moment, allow me to share the featured image from the Prancercise website. It’s enough for you to get the gist of it.

And yes. There’s totally a website. (Not to mention an instructional book entitled Prancercise: The Art of Physical and Spiritual Excellence. I’d recommend picking up your copy ASAP…word on the street is they’re selling like hot cakes.)

The more I learn about the art of aerobic prancing, the more it seems that Prancercise creator, Joanna Rohrback is my fitness guru…and possibly my soul mate. Why you ask?

She defines Prancercise as ‘A springy, rhythmic way of moving forward,similar to a horse’s gait and ideally induced by elation.’ It’s almost as if I wrote it myself!
Joanna herself says that, “It’s about Self-Expression. It’s about Non-violence. It’s about Conservation.” (I think I just found my twirly, sparkly alternative to composting.)
She believes in ‘Using imagery to imagine ourselves as a beautiful animal that’s a symbol of beauty, strength and endurance while we’re exercising in order to free our minds of any self-image that may be less appealing. . . Striving to be the best “ME” you can be!!’ (Do you think it still counts as Prancercise if I pretend to be a chihuahua?)
Joanna embraces ‘Getting back to nature by exercising in it rather than a confined, unnatural, germ laden environment.’ A fitness guru who hates exercising in germs? Finally.

There are dozens of additional reasons to adore Joanna and her prancing community of workout/equestrian enthusiasts, but instead of wasting my time listing them all, I’ve decided to instead spend those precious moments creating my own spin-off of her gallop-tastic exercise program.

Not to toot my own horn or anything…but I think this new venture is going to make me ridiculously wealthy and give me really skinny thighs.

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Nurse Trudy

Relax. No one's on drugs.

The Incident

Life of the party ¹

When Scott’s Saturday turkey hunt in Nebraska was postponed due to weather, we quickly adjusted our weekend plans. The cold, rainy day was a perfect opportunity to visit his sister and her family, who live just one hour south of where we were staying. The catch? Scott had forgotten to actually tell his sister we were coming to Nebraska–you can imagine her husband’s surprise when I called the house that morning.

“Hey!” I chirped energetically. “We’re in town! What are you guys up to today?”

And then it was my turn to be surprised.

Apparently, it was our niece’s fourth birthday party. (Cue the forgetful Aunt and Uncle of the year award!)

We rushed to Target and bought the frilliest, sparkliest gift we could find before rolling into the four-year-old fiesta just in the nick of time. The look on our nieces’ and nephew’s faces when we made our surprise debut was priceless. I was so glad we had been able to attend the gymnasium-themed party, and was really looking forward to spending the afternoon catching up with everyone.

I turned to express my excitement to Scott, but he was long gone. Apparently, a gym full of toys = his kind of party.

But the fun didn’t stop with Scott’s scooter antics. Moments later, I found him hula hooping with his new BFF.

The two were later spotted coloring in the cake room.

A bromance with a slightly inappropriate age gap.

Much to my surprise, Scott is quite the coloring book prodigy. Although I suppose his art could be considered a little bit “dark”.

This could be worth a pretty penny someday.

Just go back to sleep, Aurora.

In a twist of irony, Scott had his own mentally unstable Disney princess moment at dinner later that night. Lipstick and all. In an attempt to fill the awkward silence with some laughter, he grabbed my new tube of MAC Ruby Woo and hastily started applying.

No offense honey, but that's not really your best color.

No offense honey, but I think you’d look better in “Candy Yum Yum”

The good news? His impromptu makeover broke the ice and put everyone in high spirits.

The bad news?

I’m married to the 30-year-old equivalent of a toddler with gender issues.

(But at least dinner’s always interesting.)

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The joke's on me

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Coleslaw emergency.

Tofu eggplant ice cream would have been better than this ²⁶

Day 23 of January Blog a Day: Dessert

********

Under normal circumstances, I would have lots to say about dessert. Unfortunately, now that I’ve jumped on the vegan bandwagon my options are much more limited. Don’t get me wrong…there’s loads of scrumptious vegan confections out there — I’m just way too lazy to make them. Creating a plant-based pie crust from ground almonds and chopped up dates seems like a complete waste of time when I could spend those sixty minutes watching an episode of Downton Abbey or practicing my faux Scottish accent instead.

Also? Soy Ice Cream is twice as expensive as Häagen-Dazs. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

To solve for my sugar predicament, I’ve started eating grapefruit for dessert. I know…grapefruit is not dessert. I keep trying to trick myself into thinking it is…but have only been semi-successful. I’ve had to stop myself from slathering butter, chocolate syrup and Christmas cookie sprinkles all over my pathetic little grapefruit halves.

But it gets worse. Last night, I dreamt about a handbag made of cookies.

That’s just depressing.

And dessert shouldn’t be depressing. I mean…cupcakes are essentially Zoloft without the prescription! Today’s post is supposed to be happy! So, in an attempt to salvage today’s dessert-themed topic (and avoid any mentions of grapefruit) Scott and I decided to make a last-minute video about a few of our favorite treats.

(This will probably be the last video we ever make.)

At least we didn’t talk about grapefruit…?

(It pains me to admit it, but I think this may actually be worse than the poodle video.)

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Nurse Trudy

The Grass is Always Greener

Don't ask. Just do.

The howling chihuahua? ⁴

If it’s 9:00pm on a Wednesday, there’s a 99.99 percent chance my husband is sitting on the sofa, glued to the latest episode of Tosh.0. This week was no exception.

One thing you may not know about Scott is that he’s a die-hard animal lover. When we adopted Jolie 5 years ago, I was hesitant, to say the least. It was Scott who convinced me we needed a dog in our life.

Knowing all of this may help you understand why the video below is Scott’s favorite YouTube clip as of late. It was featured on Tosh.0 this week, and Scott hasn’t been able to stop talking about it since.

But watching the above video three dozen times wasn’t enough…Scott felt inspired to make his own version of the video in which he teaches Jolie to howl.

I seriously don’t get it. Just yesterday Jolie viciously attacked two full-grown horses, yet she’s afraid of a little howling lesson? This further supports my theory that she’s at least 25% cat.

*****

Main photo by Dennis from Atlanta