So…I may or may not have been overtaken by a sudden salt craving that led to a panicked run through the supermarket pickle aisle. Behold, the results of my sodium spree…
If the pickled okra looks kind of sad, it’s because I scarfed half the jar down on the drive home. (Which I highly discourage unless you’re okay with dousing your Lululemon track jacket in warm pickle juice.)
I’m about halfway through all of my purchases, and still can’t get enough salt. On the bright side, my blood pressure is ridiculously low, so the monster blast of sodium shouldn’t poison my innards too much.
Thinking of embarking on your very own salt binge? Here are a few of my tried and true tips:
- Sour garlic pickles ARE NOT the same as dill pickles. You’ve officially been warned.
- It’s okay if you need to add even more salt to your Progresso soup. You aren’t alone.
- When the crotchety granny who moonlights as a supermarket cashier insists on double wrapping each of your pickle jars in plastic grocery sacks, don’t decline on account of “saving the environment”. She’ll yell at you, and then go ahead do it anyway.
- Dipping your pickles in bloody mary mix is perfectly acceptable.
- Make sure to hide the evidence from your husband. (Not because he’ll judge you…you’re just preventing him from eating the rest of your precious, zesty dill spears.)
- The only thing more humiliating than wolfing down a jar of pickled okra whilst driving down a dirt road in your Corolla is getting pulled over while wolfing down a jar of pickled okra and driving down a dirt road in your Corolla.
Thankfully, the officer only gave me a warning.
(About my speeding…not my questionable sodium intake.)