I’d officially like to revoke my status update from Sunday afternoon.
Initially, I was overjoyed. Warmer weather! No more scary driving! The opportunity to wear something other than snow boots!
Yet as the signs of winter continue to fade away, I can’t help but grow increasingly frustrated with the…er…issues I’m having with all this melting snow.
(Leave it to me to find multiple reasons to complain about springtime.)
The first is a little something I’ve dubbed “the poop cul-de-sac”, which refers to an area of snow Scott cleared in the backyard so our dogs would be able to use the bathroom. Such measures must be taken when the snow is five times the height of your chihuahua, who still refuses to use a litterbox.
Each week, Scott would grab his trusty shovel to dig a maze-like network of paths through the freshly fallen snow. The first version of this doggie labyrinth was quite intricate. There were three large circles (“potty number one”, “potty number two” and “trinity”) which were each connected through narrow, carefully cleared paths. Yet as the snow continued to fall, the upkeep of such a complex poo maze became too much to handle. A month into winter, the girls’ lavatory was reduced to a single path off the back patio that led to a large circle. The poop cul-de-sac was born.
While this miniature bathroom trail proved quite convenient through the colder months, it’s now turning into a problem of epic proportions. The packed down ice of our little cul-de-sac was the first thing to melt…quickly revealing layer upon layer of freshly thawed dog doo.
(It also became immediately apparent than our neighbor’s German Shepherd has been frequenting the cul-de-sac for at least three months.)
So what’s a girl to do? Leave the giant feces tumor there and hope it makes the new grass grow in really green? Shovel it away into the woods? Pray that the German Shepherd comes back and eats it all? I’m at a loss for which strategy to adopt…but am clearly hoping for one that doesn’t involve hand-to-turd contact.
There’s been one other major snafu involving the melting snow…but after typing 400 words on the petrified poop sculpture that’s taking over my cornhole court (no pun intended…I swear), I’m too upset to write about it. You’ll just have to hear about it tomorrow.
In the meantime…any tips on how to make the feces tumor go away? I can’t be the only one who has this problem!