In case you missed part 1, you can read it here.
There I was, sitting in the Park n’ Fly lot with a dead iPhone and no car charger in sight. Normally, this would have unleashed a minor Katrina freak-out…but I’ve been reading The Happiness Project, which is essentially 300 pages on why I should really stop doing that. I took a deep breath, tilted my chin up, and harnessed all my inner optimism. It was time to go to IKEA!
As mentioned yesterday, IKEA is a mere hop skip and jump from the Minneapolis airport. I made it to the mammoth parking garage without incident, feeling instantly better the moment I stepped into everyone’s favorite blue and yellow meatball palace. As is typically the case, my Swedish furniture elation was short-lived. (IKEA and I have a colorful history of…well…tantrums.) ‘Ish hit the affordable, Scandinavian designed fan in a major way the moment I set foot in that odd little area after the show room but before the warehouse. You may know it as “the marketplace”.
You see, Scott had sent me to IKEA on a mission. We needed two jute rugs for our galley-style kitchen that we’d been pining over for months. Also on the list? A Stockholm wool rug for our dining room. Normally, permission to acquire so many floor coverings in one shopping trip would send me over the moon. My addiction to area rugs runs deep. So what was the problem you, ask? Simple.
IKEA’s store layout, and their lack of appropriately sized shopping carts.
Allow me to demonstrate with this lovely infographic…
Long story short, I found myself careening through the lighting section pushing an itsy-bitsy shopping cart filled with three enormous textile rolls. Seriously — one of those bad boys was twelve feet long. I imagine I looked similar to an intoxicated baby giraffe wearing ice skates. I even knocked over (and broke) two glass jars in the process. Transferring the rugs to a flatbed cart in the self-serve area was too little too late. By the time I finally arrived at checkout I was sweaty, agitated, and had mistakenly collided with three stray toddlers. My nerves were beyond fried as I handed over my AMEX and prepared to load the three giant tapestries into our vehicle all by myself.
Katrina loading over 200 square feet of carpet into a base model Toyota Corolla without any assistance = a preview of what the apocalypse will be like…only with slightly more swearing.
Scott always accuses me of being helpless, and in moments like this I completely understand why. I literally had to flip through or car’s manual to figure out how to fold the back seats down. By the time I had forced the rugs past the trunk, over the back seat and through the opening between the driver and passenger seats, I was covered in rug burns, bruises and a general malaise of impatience. Truly, if that striped rug had been one inch longer, I don’t think it would have fit.
But it did fit. And I had done it all by myself. I slammed the trunk shut with fury while releasing a semi-pathetic victory cry. I had conquered the IKEA rug catastrophe of 2013!
But my jubilation was short-lived. As I wedged my body under the front half of a rug and into the driver’s seat, I realized I had been scheduled to pick up Scott forty minutes ago.
To be continued…
(Yes, I’m dragging this story into three posts.)
(Mostly because that infographic took way too long to create.)
(Don’t worry…it will be worth it.)
UPDATE: Here’s part 3