Blogging

The Terrible Twos ²⁰

I can hardly believe I’m saying this, but today, ‘Sota turns two!

(Here’s hoping it doesn’t start throwing tantrums in the middle of the supermarket when I refuse to buy it Fruit Stripe gum.)

In honor of this special day, I’m celebrating by sharing my two favorite posts from the past year, along with two semi-major accomplishments, and two things I’ve learned. Let’s dig right in shall we?

FAVORITE POSTS

Fifty Shades of Chihuahua - When life hands you a broken cankle, why not stage a sexy photo shoot starring your dog?

Katrina Shaming - Like dog shaming…but with opposable thumbs! (And clothes from K-Mart.)

SEMI-MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENTS

I got a check from Google!

Sure, it was for a mere $107, and took 14 months to earn…but you guys…Google wrote me a check! Obviously, the goal of this blog has never been (and never will be) to make money. Still, it only made sense to slap a few ads on my pages and turn somewhat of a profit from something in which I invest so much of my time.

Scott crunched the numbers, and pointed out that I’m earning approximately .03 cents an hour. (Guess who’s no longer getting a delicious slice of blog birthday cake?)

I’m kind of, maybe, just a little bit a real writer!

My writing is going to be published online!

By somebody other than me!

(I kind of have to pinch myself every time I say this.)

A good friend in New York, who reads the blog from time to time, asked me to become a contributor for Levo League – an online community for Gen Y women. Obviously I jumped at the chance! My first piece, ‘The Dress Code Dilemma’, goes up early next week. I couldn’t be more thrilled for this new partnership and hope to continue to write many more pieces for Levo League.

(This will also probably the only time my writing will be 100% error-free, as there’s an actual editor combing through it before it goes live. Talk about a first!)

WHAT I’VE LEARNED

Always update your WordPress theme

Remember when the blog was hacked? And then hacked again?

All in all, some questionable characters from Eastern Europe were able to completely take down my site on four different occasions. Thankfully, the people at BlueHost were able to completely restore things after every single incident. I don’t even think they rolled their eyes when I called back for the sixty-eighth time! (Although it was over the phone, so I suppose I can’t be entirely sure.)

After a bit of tech support sleuthing, we were able to determine that the hackers were using my outdated WordPress theme and plugins as a back door to wreak some serious internet havoc.

The moral of this story? Always stay on top of your WordPress updates.

It’s not all about the numbers

I had set a goal to reach 2,000 subscribers by today. Clearly, that didn’t happen.

But you know what? I’m celebrating anyway! The blog continues to grow, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that people I don’t know actually choose to come here and read my daily musings/first world complaints. It’s beyond flattering.

I’ve built great connections and–I hope this isn’t weird to say– feel like I’ve become friends with some of you frequent commenters! Sure, I make six cents a day in ads and only gained 100 new subscribers this year…but I don’t care! I feel like we have a great thing going, and I’m oh-so-thankful to every single person who is apart of this relatively small, but slowly growing community. Thank you, from the bottom of my Whirley-Pop lovin’ heart for reading my daily nonsense and not judging me when I fail miserably at litter box training my chihuahua or decide to compete in a beauty pageant. Your readership means the world to me.

*Side note: Scott has graciously volunteered to clean the bathrooms today in honor of my second blogiversary. Looks like he’ll be getting a slice of birthday cake, after all.

**Psst! Missed last year’s blogiversary? You can read all about it here.

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The lipstick stalker ⁴

You know that blissful feeling of discovering a blog, and instantly falling in love? You scroll through the archives, take in all the content you can, learn as much as possible about the blogger and catch up on all the exciting content you’ve been missing out on. Naturally, you follow them on Twitter and Instagram, like their site on Facebook and subscribe to them via your blog reader of choice. Their site is the first one you check in the morning…and when you see a new post has been published, you feel your heart skip a beat.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like you to meet my newest blog crush.

Helena from Brooklyn Blonde

I briefly mentioned Helena in Tuesday’s post about how a trip to Brooklyn inspired me to make some life changes. A highlight of my weekend in NYC was taking in all the effortlessly edgy street fashion. The minute I returned to ‘Sota I found myself Googling “Brooklyn Style Blog” so I might continue to gaze longingly at trendy fashion eye candy straight out of my favorite borough. Helena’s blog ended up being the top search result.

The past three days have been a giant blur of obsessively devouring the Brooklyn Blonde archives, creating an inventory of what items I need to add to my wardrobe, and browsing ShopBop.com while asking myself “What would Helena buy?” I may have even attempted to purchase duplicates of a few of the items (cough! cough! military jacket! cough!) Helena features on her site.

And then I realized the ‘ish she wears is expensive.

Real expensive.

Fortunately, Helena also shares the different types of makeup she wears, which are much more conducive to my Minnesota budget. While I can’t afford her adorable Chanel bag or classic black Louboutins, possessing every single shade of lipstick she wears is surely the next best thing, right?

This is the reasoning that led me to purchase five new tubes of lip color this week.

Yup. Five.

That’s not creepy, right?

Alright…maybe these side-by-side photos I’m about to show are a little bit creepy. Helena…if you’re reading this, please rest assured that I am not some crazy stalker. I’m simply a makeup-loving, fashion-forward female who appreciates good style and adores your lips.

Uh…I think that may have come out wrong.

1. MAC Candy-Yum-Yum lipstick

I’m a sucker for a statement lip, and this color from MAC did not disappoint. The only downside? It kind of makes my teeth look yellow. Looks like it’s time for a secret rendezvous with my Crest White Strips!

I made the mistake of forgetting to wash this stuff off before Turbo Kick class last night. While it looks fabulous with a stylish outfit, pairing it with workout clothes and a messy ponytail looks a little…well…1980s cray cray. (Lesson learned the hard way.)

2. MAC Ruby Woo lipstick

This one might be my absolute favorite. It’s a red with just a pinch of yellow/orange undertones, which makes it perfect for day time. Bonus points for making my teeth look somewhat white-ish! It’s my new go-to shade, and I’m currently working up the balls to wear it on during a video conference tomorrow.

3. Maybelline Color Sensational Lipcolor in Coral Crush

I’ve got to say — for a cheap drugstore brand, this stuff stays put for hours. It’s a little bit dry, but if you pair it with some gloss or chapstick, application is much easier. I’m really loving the orangey-coral shade as a fun alternative to neutral lips.

4. MAC Russian Red lipstick

This red is slightly darker/more blue-toned than Ruby Woo, and is perfect for evenings out. Again, it’s a super flattering shade, and makes those pearly whites look like they are fresh out of the bleaching tray. Hesitant to drop fifteen bones on a tube of lipstick? So was I…but Brooklyn Blonde has made me a believer! This stuff goes on so smoothly, lasts for hours, and requires zero lip liner. Trust me — you’ll be addicted after one application.

5. MAC Twig lipstick

So…this one isn’t an official Brooklyn Blonde color, but while I was haphazardly adding tubes of Mac lipstick to my cart, this one kept coming up as a recommended item. The color had nearly 300 5-star reviews, and I figured if I was already spending over fifty bucks on lip color, what harm could just one extra tube possibly cause? I’m so delighted I decided to go for it. It’s a beautiful neutral color that is perfect for the days where you simply don’t feel like having people stare at your Technicolor lips and wonder if you’re mentally stable.

Because I’m currently saturating my pucker with lots of pigment, I figured it was time to take it easy on the peepers and save my signature smokey eyes for days when I go with a more subdued lip color. Consequentially, I’ve only been wearing mascara. And ladies, have I found a mascara for you! While shopping at Nordy’s a few months ago, I was given a sample of Chanel mascara that basically changed my life. Alright…’changed my life’ may be a bit of an exaggeration, but trust me, the stuff is nothing short of miraculous. I recently ordered a full-size tube and couldn’t be happier with my investment. While I never imagined spending thirty dollarss on something as accessible as mascara, I also never thought I’d own anything by Chanel. Needless to say, my lashes feel quite fancy and have been blinking with a little extra ‘tude now that they’re coated in designer cosmetics.

So, there you have it. I’m officially coming clean as a lipstick stalker. I swear I’m not dangerous or cause for alarm. I’m simply a lost soul of the internet who allows my blog crushes to manifest in online cosmetic shopping sprees.

Uh…that’s totally healthy and normal…right?

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I'm 'bouts to drop $24 on one of you.

Let's get ridiculous.

Resorting to threats

Out of the bloffice. ²

That’s the hybrid word for “blog office”.

(It’s also the reason Webster’s Dictionary continually rejects my applications to become one of their freelance noun innovators.)

In a last-minute turn of events, Scott and I are in New York City for the rest of weekend. Because I wasted way too much time strategizing the contents of my suitcase, you’re only getting half a post today. Fortunately, my packing wasn’t completely in vain–I’m at least able to share with you all one of the outfits I’ll be trotting around Manhattan in this weekend! Which ironically does make my packing–and resulting public outfit sharing–quite “vain”, depending on how you interpret the word.

(Suck it, Webster’s!)

In the spirit of honesty, this technically isn’t the outfit I’ll be wearing over the weekend. My sister snapped this photo outside the naked spa last Friday, while back in Seattle. I’ll post an updated fashion snapshot at some point, but wanted to show you the rockstar-inspired vest I’m a little too excited to sport all over the borough of Brooklyn on Saturday. Just imagine the jeans replaced with a pair of liquid leggings from the Kardashian Kollection (you know I love me a good pair of stretch pants), and a pair of old school black wedged high tops (complete with silver spikes) instead of my totes uncomfortable Tory Burch flats.

Essentially, I’m going to look like the poor little Midwestern girl who’s trying way too hard to dress “hip” for her trip to the big city.

I’ve decided I’m entirely okay with this.

To compensate for the shallowness of this post, I’m also going to share four blogs I’ve been enjoying as of late. They’re so good, they might just make up for the sad and pathetic 250 words I just spewed about stretch pants and dictionaries. (I’ve made a point to highlight blogs that aren’t featured in my blogroll…just in case you’re craving a little something different.)

MODG – This blog’s acronym stands for “Martinis or Diaper Genies?” If that’s not incentive to click on over and take a look, I don’t know what is. MODG is a mommy blogger that even non-moms will find hilarious and fascinating. She also draws pictures of poop using Microsoft Paint.

Dollars & Roses – A husband and wife duo share how they’ve successfully turned their blogs into a full-time business. If you’re interested in generating income through blogging, this site offers helpful tips and valuable insights. I would know…I just received my very first payment from Google AdSense! It was for $107.42! And it only took me nineteen months to earn it!

Blogilates – Cassey is alarmingly chipper, but her site has tons of fantastic workout videos. I’ve been secretly watching them and stealing her moves so I might claim them as my own in the various group exercise classes I teach. All my students now think I’m a fitness genius, but really, I’m simply a YouTube cardio plagiarist. (Thanks, Cassey!)

Hubby Jack’s Blog ATTACK - Hubby Jack is a snarky male blog designer who has somehow wormed his way into the secret, drama-filled underbelly of the female blogging community. While he and I have different design aesthetics and preferences, he’s so brutally honest and politically incorrect, I can’t help but adore him.

That about does it! I hope you have a fantastic weekend, and enjoy checking out a few of the above blogs. I’ll be back on Monday with a bevy of interesting stories from my adventures in The Big Apple. (So long as no one sees my studded leather vest, mistakes me for a street fighter and sends me to the hospital with a handful of shank wounds and a concussion. Then I definitely won’t be blogging come Monday.)

In related news, I think it might be time to up my anxiety medication.

*******

Main photo by joiseyshowaa

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Gaga for blogging ⁶

Over on the Facebook page, I promised I would write about the story behind this photo today.

We almost died…and that is NOT an exaggeration.

Alright…maybe it’s a bit of an exaggeration. Still, the great Iowa blizzard transformed our seven-hour road tripped into a thirteen hour death ~~march~~ drive. The good news is that all of us (including out measly two-wheel drive Toyota) survived the journey. The bad news is that we didn’t get to bed until 2:00 am.

Also? I had to wake up extra early to teach a group exercise class before work.

This is my long-winded, extremely whiney way of saying that you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to hear about our slip n’ slide snow driving misadventure. I realize that this means I’m breaking my Facebook promise, and I apologize. Please understand that there is simply not enough coffee in the world to write about our Donner Party-esque drive home from Omaha last night.

As a minor compensation, I’m going to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while as of late.

(The valuable life lesson I learned at last month’s Lady Gaga concert.)

During her performance, Mother Monster said two things that left a lasting impression on me. The first was a simple thank you to all of us in the audience. She was well aware the majority of us were humble middle class folk, who probably had to wake up early the next day and report to work. She acknowledged that tickets to her performance were crazy expensive, and expressed sincere gratitude that we had spent our hard-earned money to come see her live. Her message was so thoughtful and heartfelt…it was surprisingly refreshing to witness a worldwide celebrity taking note of the fact that $200 for a few hours of entertainment is significant financial investment.

Her second sentiment resonated with me on an even deeper level. In her own, bizarre and artistically poetic words, she encouraged everyone in attendance to simply be themselves. She challenged us not to worry what others would think, not to seek acceptance or popularity…not to follow the crowd. Sure, not everyone’s going to “get” you, like you, or want to be your friend, but who really cares? At the end of your life, embracing who you are is exponentially more important.

It’s a simple message–possibly even a bit cliché. Yet something about hearing it from a girl who had the cahones to wear a dress made of meat to the VMAs made it all the more powerful to me. Specifically in regards to blogging.

While I would argue I’m pretty good at being true to myself, I do tend to worry what others think on a nearly constant basis. Writing a public blog is essentially asking for scrutiny and criticism–something that can be extremely frightening. I often times find myself not wanting people to judge or think less of me based on the content I choose to publish. It is for this reason that I significantly filter the things I share on this blog.

(Yes…believe it or not, this is the toned down version of me. I like to think of it as “controlling the crazy”.)

As a blogger (writer? artist? creative spirit?) censorship feels inherently wrong. Yet risking relationships, public opinion and possibly my future doesn’t always seem worth it. Then again, would these things even be in jeopardy if I said “who cares?” and freely posted whatever I wanted? Am I being paranoid? Realistic? Overly cautious? Logical?

More often than not, I wish I could find the courage to be the Lady Gaga of blogging. Type whatever I want (while obviously wearing the meat dress) without thinking twice about the consequences. Miss Gaga has certainly experienced a great deal of success by being true to herself (and not caring whether people approve), but is she an exception to the rule? Does being blatantly honest, completely transparent, and just a little bit crazy always work out so well?

I’m curious to hear your thoughts. How do you filter yourself online? Do you have a policy for blogging or social media? Am I being somewhat rational, or do I need to stop being a drag and just bec a queen, already?